She Lives in You
by MortalEnemies1234
Summary: 18yrs after the events of AMtUtS, can Clace be reunited for one last battle,focusing around two very unusual girls.And how will the events that unfold affect the future of the Clave?Who will betray their side for the chance of sisterhood?
1. Prologue

**Welcome to the new and improved (hopefully) version of She Lives in You. It's still under development so i cant promise it will all make sense, but so far the first two chappies have changed.**

**If you're new to my writing, Welcome! Now, I know I'm not mind dazzlingly brilliant when it comes to writing, so feel free to tell me so. I'm a big girl; I'm not going to cry. If you want to track me and what's going on with my writing, come find me on Twitter VikkiLouiseJ ! now, a really important thing you should know is that this story is a sequel to another story I wrote called All the Moons Under the Sun. if you don't want to read it, but you want to know what happened, either PM me or leave me a review and I'll get the info back to you either via PM or I'll put it in my next update.**

**There will be Clace, of course, so give the story a chance to get to its full height before you think ugh, there's no interesting romance, it's all depressing**

**Anyways, on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned the Mortal Instruments I'd die happy!**

_Prologue_

The annual meeting of wolves in Idris was finally over, and the Terra's were preparing to leave. Ciara (**Cee-ar-ra, because my friend and beta Althea Nightshade can't pronounce it**) and Alyssa were gurgling happily from their positions of sitting in Clary and Emma's arms. Ciara looked up at her aunt and blew a spit bubble, making her laugh. Alyssa, not wanting to be outdone, wiggled in the sling that kept her close to her mother's body and burped.

All was well.

The Terra's were distracted by the two babies, so they didn't notice the demons that crept almost silently towards them, the demons that attacked them. Amidst the screams and cries of their pack, Clary and Emma found themselves stranded in the middle of the melee. Rhiannon, whose fur was almost the same colour as Clary's fell back with them. They had dropped into wolf form instinctively, the two children almost hidden under their thick fur.

"Take the girls, and run. Run as fast as you can, and don't stop, or we'll all be dead and we will have failed the duty we swore to protect them."

Clary lifted her head.

"If I don't make it, tell Jace I love him, and that I'm sorry?" Emma nodded.

The two young female wolves ran as fast as their legs would take them, heading for a permanent portal that would dump them somewhere in Yellowstone National Park, whilst the remaining red wolf let out a devastatingly sorrowful howl. The demons turned to face her, and she turned tail and ran as fast as she could, running for her life. A huge cliff was approaching rapidly, but she didn't slow or falter, and with the demons hot on her tail, the wolf launched herself off the edge, and as she plummeted to her death she thought:

_I'd rather commit suicide than die at their hands._

* * *

Clutching a screaming Ciara tight, Emma hurried up the Academy steps, her legs barely able to support her weight. She bashed her fist against the door, and was rewarded with a stunned young man standing in the doorway, his golden wedding band glowing on his finger. He reached out and took the crying baby away from the wolf girl, and as soon as she was in his arms, Ciara settled with a contented grunt. The man gestured for the girl to come inside.

His eyes already had tears forming in the corners- he'd already guessed the news Emma/Christi had come bearing.

"She said to tell you that she loves, and she's so sorry…" she blurted, before collapsing on the floor in front of him, completely exhausted.

* * *

The Lycanthrope was too easy to capture. Exhausted, she was unable to defend herself against him, and soon she was subdued, to tired for her mind to even comprehend the danger she was in. he lifted the wailing baby from her. The child was only half of what he wanted, but no matter, one would have to do. The chain around the child's neck simply read **Alyssa**.

* * *

Ciara cooed in her fathers warm embrace, but he was weeping, weeping for his wife, and for the daughter who didn't make it into his arms, looking down, he swore that he would protect Ciara for the rest of his days, no matter how long or short that may be.

The next morning, the bed beside him was cold, even with the soft heat of his baby daughter curled up next to him. He rose like a zombie, found something in the fridge to feed the baby and changed her nappie. Around him, the hustle and bustle of the first members of staff to ever arrive at the academy was barely tangible- if they made any real noise, he didn't notice.

It was mid morning when the Clave's messenger arrived.

"You're Mr. J Herondale aren't you sir?" he asked, visibly swallowing.

"Yes."

"We have recovered a body sir, and well, we have strong reason to believe that the wolf, though her body was badly… well, she was almost unidentifiable… our experts are almost certain that it is Mrs Herondale sir. I'm so sorry. The Inquisitor wanted to convey her deepest sympathies, and the message that she will arrange the funeral, and that she can hand the Academy on to someone else if you want to go back to…"

"Tell the Inquisitor thanks, but no one will take my wife's dream away from me. She would have wanted me to take over her roll here in her honour. Tell the Inquisitor that… that I have to stay here. I can't leave. No one else can teach the children of the today the things I know. And anyway, what a better way to avenge her death than to teach these kids how to kill the monsters that took her life?"

The messenger looked at him, perplexed.

"of course sir!" he finally blurted, and ran.

Jace looked down at the baby who looked back at him with wide eyes.

"It's just you and me now Ciara. And Angel help me if anyone is going to find out about you. Being who you are is dangerous you know. I tell you what, why don't you take your Mother's maiden name, huh? No one will ever guess that your mine that way."

And that's how Ciara Herondale became Ciara Morgenstern.

**How was it?**

**To review or not to review, that's the question?**

**Bow Wow**

**Ciao**

**Vikki ;)~**


	2. Why Must We Rip Out Our Hearts?

**Disclaimer: although I sadly don't own the Mortal Instruments, I did write the lyrics for this chapter!**

_If I loved another day,  
would you stay a little longer with me,  
singing your sweet lullaby,  
lulling me to sleep?_

_If I was not who I am,  
would you still be here listening to me,  
living the dream you dreamed  
instead of me?_

_We cant help our blood  
but why must it destroy us?  
why must we rip our hearts out,  
only to present them bleeding,  
when our loyalties no longer matter?_

_If these dreams of mine were yours  
would you be able to make sense of them,  
tell me what they mean,  
while loving me?_

_If these halls were yours to walk,  
would you walk them free for me,  
because I am a prisoner of my blood,  
calling from the deep?_

_We cant help our blood  
but why must it destroy us?  
why must we rip our hearts out,  
only to present them bleeding,  
when our loyalties no longer matter?_

_If I were not here,  
would you love my father for me,  
kissing him for me,  
dreaming of me?_

_If time could change  
would you stand beside me,  
kissing me,  
as I fall asleep?_

_We cant help our blood  
but why must it destroy us?  
why must we rip our hearts out,  
only to present them bleeding,  
when our loyalties no longer matter?_

_Would you love my father,  
bringing new life into the world,  
if you were not gone?_

Isabelle was on her first morning round at the Academy, and eager to finally catch sight of one of the reclusive students. Her son had been whisked away by one of the staff, off to meet his classmates somewhere in the building. But part of her was nervous. These kids called Jace "Sir".

The same Jace who still bore the forever rune at his youthfulness at 37; and his heart was still laden with Clary's apparent death 17 years ago. The same Jace that would still pick a fight with a bulldozer if the urge took him. He hadn't changed at all; he even still wore his wedding ring hidden on a chain beneath his shirt.

The Academy was an amazing place, where Shadowhunter kids from all walks of life could be accepted to be trained. It didn't matter who they were, what line or blood they descended from, even if they were only half shadowhunter. Entrance was given out in form of a specific scholarship offered at the age of 16 for outstanding ability. You trained there until you were 18, as long as you performed to the standard expected. You also found yourself out of the Academy if your behaviour was deemed unacceptable by the Clave.

This included fighting with other members of the Academy, bad language, disobedience and failure to perform tests which could potentially have them out of the Academy.

However, Jace kept finding loopholes to keep one of the girls in- she always picked fights, she listened and obeyed when it suited her and she always performed deliberately badly in tests. Despite this all her teachers loved her. As far as Isabelle was aware she was the only student officially to have lived in the Academy most of her life. Isabelle suspected her father or mother worked here, but she didn't dare ask.

She finally managed to track down the source of the music, and pushed open the door. A young woman with golden red hair was rearranging sheet music on a grand piano. When she heard the door open she looked up at Isabelle. She had soft green-blue eyes that sparkled in the Witchlight.

She smiled pleasantly. "Hello. You must be Ms Herondale. I'm Ciara, welcome to the Academy." She had a sweet, musical voice that disguised a witty and sarcastic nature. This was Ciara, the bane of Jace's life, or so he had called her affectionately the day before, anyway. The girl slipped past her, still smiling and hurried down the hall.

* * *

Ciara's private classes with Jace made the others jealous sometimes, because she learnt things way before they did. He devoted a certain day of the month to each student on rotation, but Ciara was always miles ahead.

She picked up the fighting stick, feeling its balance; the way the wood was hardened to be stronger than bone or rock. The runes carved onto its surface didn't burn her hands the way they did some Shadowhunters, but then again, she wasn't an ordinary Shadowhunter. She bore marks from the Black Book, not the Gray. Downworlder blood coursed in her veins from her mother's side, and she had heightened abilities compared to any other Shadowhunter of her age.

Jace circled her, completely predatory. However, she was her mother's daughter as well, and she knew his weaknesses. Such as the fact that he relied too much on brute strength. So she danced, using flicky, dangerous moves. But Jace was fast, so she had to think very fast, before he was gone.

Eventually, she ended up underneath him, sweaty and bruised.

"No fair. You always win." She pouted, and he laughed.

"If I let you win, you wouldn't get any better." He stood up and held his hand out to help her up. In one deft move she kneed him in the guts, swept his legs away and landed on top of him, her one hand curled around his throat, and her knee in his groin.

"Never allow yourself to be distracted by the enemy. It was the first lesson you taught me... Dad." She grinned, happy that they were alone. She hated it when they had to act like they weren't related. He laughed, wincing. She got off him, and he sprung to his feet.

He checked his watch.

"Get to class Ciara."

* * *

Isabelle was slightly worried about taking her first class. She'd only met one of the students, and having a son in the class wasn't going to help her nerves. She walked into a large lecture theatre. Despite the fact that they were meant to be a close knit group, they were spread out across the hall.

Josh was sitting with Ciara, another boy and another girl. Ciara looked bored, as if she knew everything already and was only in the room because she had to be. Isabelle remembered Jace used get a look on his face like that.

There was a small group of boys above them, the kind of boys that thought they were really it. On the opposite side of the room, a group of girls looked at them and giggled. They were like a concentrated version of highschoolers.

She didn't hear Jace walk in behind her, but the class suddenly quietened, except for Ciara who just put her earphones in.

"I've got your visitor list." Jace said, and Isabelle spun, not realising he was there. "Ciara, listen please." The girl sighed and stuffed the earphones in her pocket.

"I don't see why I have to listen." She muttered, before receiving a stern look from Jace.

"Cerin, I'm afraid your parents are tied up in the Clave, so you're going to have to wait until they're free so I can arrange a private slot. Ciara..."

"No one ever comes for her. No one wants Morgenstern." Said one of the boys above her.

"Watch your tongue Ray, or you won't have one for long." She snarled, and lunged for the boy.

"Ciara Morgenstern! Raymond Hillcroft." Jace marched up the steps, grabbing Ciara by her hair. She yowled as he dragged her off the other boy. The door at the top opened, and one of the other teachers stepped in. Isabelle realised with a pang that it was Nicki, Clary's twin brother. Was Ciara his daughter?

"I've got her Jace. Calm down Ciara." He looked into the girl's eyes, and she suddenly stopped struggling, like he'd hypnotised her. It occurred to Isabelle then that she'd never actually found out what Nicki's power was.

Ciara slumped back to her seat, while the boy, Ray, howled with laughter. Jace slapped him across the face, the way Hodge used to slap them when they misbehaved. The boy abruptly shut up.

"As I was saying, Ciara, Emma's coming to see you." Ciara grinned. Jace finished his announcements, and disappeared out the door.

* * *

"Ray's an idiot." Rick said, dragging his feet as they walked through the corridor. Jace had caught Ciara as she came out of the lecture theatre, giving her a yelling at in the study. She was used to it these days- Jace was struggling to maintain the Academy, mainly because the Clave were threatening to take it away from him. That when he'd taken down all of the pictures of her mother. They'd said he had an unhealthy attachment to her, and couldn't except that she wasn't around anymore.

Ciara was the only one that knew that his attachment to his belief that she was still out there somewhere was all that drove him. Without that, she'd probably be in some orphanage somewhere, and he would probably be buried with his mother at the crossroads.

Her father's stress levels were always high and sometimes Ciara wished he would leave the Academy to the teachers for a little while, and get some peace. Even if he just took the students to an Institute somewhere, like he used to, he would be a lot less stressed. But he wouldn't. He was just that stubborn.

Ciara left Rick at the bottom of a large spiral staircase that lead up to the study. It was late evening, and she knew that her father needed her. He'd been watching her out of the corner of his eye, a sure sign he wanted to talk to her.

She pushed open the heavy oak door of the study, hearing the crackling of the fire, and the rustling of paper. Jace was sitting at his desk, signing a pile of forms, the fire burning noisily behind him.

"We're going to New York?" she asked, looking at one of the forms.

"An old friend has asked if I could spare time for a visit, and I need a break. So we're all going to spend some time working out the New York Institute. No lessons, just practical Demon hunting and city life, something I think a lot of you lot lack knowledge of since you spend most of your time behind these four walls. Hands on learning, the way you like it." Ciara grinned. Her dad sounded... excited, passionate, the way he should be.


	3. I just want to Die

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything...except my own Characters!**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter songs- the Spirit of Man by Jeff Wayne (War of the Worlds), 21 Guns by Green Day**

I wish I could see. I wish I could see my captor, so that I could look them in the eye and spit in their face. But I can't see. I'm so weak I can barely move; I can barely make a sound, just clinging on to consciousness.

My prison is home now, and has been for so many years. Time doesn't run true here- I have no clue how long I've been down here. I remember when I was captured, and I remember the demons that overpowered my already damaged body and dragged me down into this cold, dark, and dank hole.

I remember every torturous moment since I was caught. I remember silver being poured into my eyes, blinding me. I can barely make out shapes now, in this poor light there are no colours. I remember the story behind every scar, every disfiguring blemish.

I remember once, the pain was so bad I passed out. I remember flying, so high. I remember seeing him, crying on the roof. I remember a screaming baby in my arms, when they caught me. I don't know what happened to her, and I don't hold out for seeing either of them again.

The chains securing me bite my skin, gouging it down to the bone, blood pouring out with every movement. Excruciating agony every time I move even slightly, ripping through me.

There is nothing worth living for now.

I just want to die.

* * *

High school.

Alyssa Jane hated school. She hated high school even more, because the stupid Mundanes who had no sight flirted with her and tried to pinch her personal areas. They'd given up now, mainly because she'd punched so many of them.

Alyssa was always suspended, but her Uncle always managed to make the teachers let her go back to school. And she hated him for it. Her Uncle was her life, but sometimes he just went too far. The Mundanes were fools, laughing and smiling in a world "guarded" by the corrupt Clave.

Alyssa was glad she didn't have Clave blood. She was one of the lucky few that could see the Shadow World, because her Uncle had taught her from an early age to believe. You could see what was invisible if you knew the truth of what you were looking at.

There was a new boy in her class today. He was rather handsome, with flat brown eyes and solemn expression. He paid no attention to anyone else, except to glance at Althea, the pretty (disgusting) Vampire. She giggled and hid behind her hair, flashing fangs. It was torture not to plunge a knife into her stupid un-beating heart.

The teacher was rattling on about grades and exams, whilst Alyssa filed her nails. To be honest, grades were for geeks and exams were there to flunk. She didn't give a shit about the stupid school, but her Uncle had informants that would tell him if she skipped.

The new boy, Sam or whatever his name was, kept looking at her, a strange focused look in his emotionless eyes. Althea came up behind her. Stupid Vampire had been saved by the great Jace Herondale after being attacked during her short stint at his famous school. Stupid Daylighting bitch.

She shoved past Alyssa, nearly knocking the other girl over. Alyssa made a mental note to stalk and kill her sometime after school. She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder, stomping off to the school gates.

Their flat was typical of New York- high up and a pain to get to. Alyssa was banned from using the lift, so she had to climb twelve flights of stairs to get to it. But once inside, she put on a pair of bag gloves and started hitting the training equipment her Uncle kept in their front room. If anyone asked, Alyssa was a keen boxer, and although she didn't compete, she enjoyed the training.

Alyssa vented for hours until her Uncle unlocked the door. He'd been down in the cells, far below the street, playing with his experiments. Alyssa had never actually been down into his "special" cells, but she'd seen some of them. He was looking for the most efficient way to wipe out the Downworlders. Sadly, he hadn't found one yet.

He left her be, disappearing into their kitchen to get a drink. When Alyssa got round to it, she'd cook their dinner or order a take away. Her Uncle never really minded as long as she did it. He had a strict policy that only women cooked. Until she was old enough, he'd employed countless human cooks, disposing of them once he was bored of them.

* * *

Alyssa was... very like her parents, but with all of Jonathans worst qualities. That sour, I'm better than you look, it was pure Jonathan.

But she looked like her mother- except for her eyes. They were pure Jace.

Althea had been watching her, and then Simon had carefully slid into her life too. Alyssa had been the only one he'd been able to track down- Ciara had disappeared like she was made of mist. It had taken him this long to find Alyssa, and he wasn't about to let her slip through the cracks.

The girl seemed strong, but she was unmarked, and probably had no idea exactly what ran in her veins. The blood of two of the greatest Shadowhunters of all time, blood that clung onto Downworld genes, werewolf genes.

Althea played absently with her nails.

"The girl does not wish to serve our cause. She sees us as the enemy and the Clave as the target. Turning her will be difficult, if we can even catch her. She's good Simon. Better than you'd expect of a Shadowhunter with no runes."

"I know Althea. Sometimes I wish we could find someone who knew how powerful this girl is to help us. But with Clary gone and Jace refusing to meet with me, we have no one."

"Patience Simon. Jace is hurting, but I overheard him talking with Alec on the subway. Silly Shadowhunter didn't notice the vampire listening in on his conversation. Alec managed to convince Jace to come here to New York. He will be within reach, and we may finally find out what happened to Ciara."

**Short, but necessary**

**Bow Wow!**

**Review!**

**Vikki ;)~**


	4. You'll never change

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMI people! Get it in your bloody heads (whoops)!**

**Enjoy!**

Ciara hated the plane journey, like she always did. There was nothing to do, no room to move and it smelt like barf after Cerin had thrown up. Isabelle was sitting next to her, and Jace. He looked bored, glaring out the window at the wispy clouds. Isabelle was chatting with her son, excited. She'd grown up in the Institute, along with her brother Alec.

Her father had spent time in the same Institute- with the Lightwoods. Alec Bane ran it now, with the help of the Downtown pack leader, Luke and his Shadowhunter wife Jocelyn. She wondered absently if her father's friend would know who she was- but then again, she hoped they wouldn't. It was much more fun to keep people guessing.

Rick spun in his seat- he was in front of her- with a silly grin on his face. Rick's stupid grin made her day when she was bored. She rolled her eyes at him, and he laughed.

Making Ciara happy was something Rick loved to do. He wished that Ciara was aware of just how much he cared for her, but Jace would murder him. He didn't really like the students getting together. Rick thought it reminded him of the way he'd sat in classroom with his future wife until he turned eighteen- well, until she ran away.

He laughed at Ciara's cheeky little eye roll, and swore he saw Jace's lips curl. He moved to whisper something in Ciara's ear, and she looked shocked. Jace grinned like a wolf and pulled something out his pocket. It was an old photo- one of his wife and the Daylighter, Simon. Ciara looked at the image for a few seconds before clouting Jace over the head.

That's the thing about Jace- he could be insanely strict at times and everyone feared his punishments, but he was a really likeable person. Most of the students admired his work, and many of them were still in contact with him.

He wasn't just a teacher; he became part of their family, along with the rest of the staff. You could always count on Nicki if you had problems with another student, and so on. When he left the Academy, he was going to miss many of his teachers.

* * *

Jace was hurting, but he didn't want anyone to know it. As the plane descended below the cloud level, he could just make out the shapes of familiar sights- central park, where he'd proposed, the Institute, Renwick's and many others. His favourite was out of sight, but he knew he could find it once they got to the Institute.

"_It's perfect!" Clary's excited voice rang out across the empty club. Jace had no idea she was pregnant at this point and the Academy was just a concept awaiting Clave approval. Emma was standing next to her._

"_Tell me about it. This is gonna rock, huh?" she seemed excited. Jace had just come along to humour his wife. He had no desire to listen to Emma witter on about the new club she was opening. Clary leaned back into her husband's arms, before grabbing his arm and dragging him into a back room once Emma had left to go talk to a builder. A back room with a bolt._

_That was the day before Clary told him he was going to be a dad, and the Academy was given the go ahead. The last day when it was just the two of them._

Rick really did remind him of Simon, because of the way he'd never voiced his feelings to his best friend. But there was something about him that reminded him of himself, too- the way he looked at her, that protective fierceness he showed on demon hunts.

He arranged all the Taxi's to the Institute, making sure Ciara was with Rick and Cerin, her closest friends, and Josh was with his mother. Jace invested a lot of time and effort in making sure there would be no squabbles on the journey. As there were only three tutors- Isabelle, Nicki and him- getting people in the right groupings was essential.

Jace took a slight detour and uncovered his motorbike, which he'd asked Alec to keep an eye on. Night had fallen, so it was safe to ride. Kicking the bike into life, he checked his glamour and took off.

Flying the bike felt wrong without Clary's arms wrapped around his waist, without her laughter vibrating through him. It felt wrong not to hear her scream in joy, and it felt wrong not to have to worry about her falling off the back. He remembered the last time he rode the bike, feeling the soft curve of his wife's three month pregnant body against him. It felt so wrong not to feel her there.

He landed the bike easily on the roof of the Institute, clambering down the wall a dropping lightly down to just outside the doors. He pulled his key out of his pocket and let himself in. He knew that he was way ahead of his students, but he didn't care. Being first was actually a good thing. It meant that he could deal with his family- adopted and the in-laws- before the rest turned up.

"Shit Jace. Althea was right. You haven't aged a day." Jace groaned.

"Bloodsucker. You have to turn up and ruin my day, don't you?" Simon grinned wickedly, showing fangs.

"You haven't even commented on how I know your old student."

"Birds of a feather flock together. She wrote to me, about the marriage. I didn't approve."

"Well, I didn't approve of my best friend marrying you, so I guess we're even."

"Humph." Jace snorted, brushing his blonde hair off his face. Then he grinned, and Simon knew that Jace was actually completely okay with him and Althea being married, and that he knew Simon had quite willingly let his best friend get married. The two boys had grown closer during Clary's absence, and her reappearance in their lives hadn't changed that. Except when she decided to do another disappearing act of course and this time, it was for good.

The lift began to grind its gears, signifying someone was coming down. Jace rocked on his heels slightly- after all, the occupants of the Institute were expecting a thirty seven year old, not a thirty seven year old who hasn't aged since he was nineteen.

Luckily, it was just Althea.

"Jace! Oh my...!" she wrapped him in a rather enthusiastic hug.

"Althea, although I may be stunning good looking, your husband is in the room."

"Your ego hasn't changed either, I see." Simon chuckled, receiving lots of excited kisses from his hyperactive wife. They were definitely a perfect couple, though Simon looked as if he could do with a few lessons in how to deal with women who came onto to you strong. Something Jace had become very experienced at over the years, including when his wife's hormones were driving her scatty and she wanted sex all the time.

"My ego is the perfect size. Yours is abnormally small."

"Asshole."

"Who's an asshole?" Jace recognised that voice. What the hell was _she_ doing here?

"Jace."

"What in the Angel's name is _he _doing here!"

_Hello sister in law, nice to see you too._

"Cassidy..." Simon warned.

"I hate you Jace. You're not welcome here."

Jace spun around, and Cassidy's jaw dropped.

"I lived here before you. I lived in this building before your sister, before your mother and before your father. And the fact that I still have a key kinda tells me that I'm welcome. And the fact that Alec invited me." Jace growled.

"You haven't goddamned aged! Great, now I'm related to a vampire!"

"Hell no!" Jace protested.

"Ew! Jace as a vampire? I think I'd stake myself." Simon muttered, and Jace elbowed his friend.

"Then what the bloody hell is going on?"

"Ask your sister. It's her fault after all. Her and her damn forever rune." Jace grumbled, pulling the collar of his shirt down so that they could see the top of the permanent mark.

"Great. What else did my sister do to ruin my life?"

"She died?" Simon offered. He noticed Jace stiffened at this. Poor guy.

There was a crash from the doors of the Institute, and a young woman flew in, sword in hand, with an angry glint in her eyes.

"JACE! You said that New York was safe!" she whined.

"Where's Cerin and Rick?" Jace sounded slightly panicked.

"Right here." A boy appeared, carrying an unconscious girl. "She fell and hit her head. She should be okay." He said, handing her to Jace. He checked the girls head injury, then dumped her back into the boy's arms and told him directions to the infirmary. The boy walked off to deal with his friends.

The girl was pouting, her hands on her hips. Her green-blue eyes were hard with anger, and her red-gold hair was wild. She had a scratch on her cheek, but apart from that seemed fine. Her sword, Simon noticed, was coated with blood.

"There were ten of them! Ten! You said all the demons ignored the area around the Institute!" the girl complained.

"They do normally..." Cassidy's eyebrows knit together. The girl's eyes snapped to her, but not before there was a loud exclamation of...

"ALEC! YOU DID NOT TELL ME MY BROTHER WAS COMING!" and then Jace found himself wrapped in Amber's warm embrace. He looked at her face, and the two of them gaped at each other. "what...

"...the..."

"...hell."

"You first."

"Cursed by a dark warlock who was in love with me, after he murdered Danny. You?"

"Clary."

"Explains a lot." Amber sighed. She'd dyed her hair brown and had some bizarre cat eye contacts in.

"You've been spending time with Magnus, haven't you Amber?"

And all the while, the girl just stood there, open mouthed.

* * *

Her Dad never mentioned a sister. Never. She knew that her Mother had a brother- Uncle Nicki. But she always thought that her Dad only had adoptive siblings. And now, it turned out that he had kept things from her about her family.

The woman- Amber, looked as young as her Dad, and obviously hadn't aged just like him. Whoever Danny was, her Dad's face had fallen slightly when she said he was dead.

The Daylighter, Simon, and Althea (who definitely wouldn't remember her- Ciara was only two when she spent her time at the Academy, so she spent most of her time in the Study) were acting like they had no idea what to do. The girl who had said about the demons looked like she'd rather be elsewhere.

She hoped Cerin was okay. She didn't particularly want her to be seriously injured on her first day back at home. Rick had scooped her up whilst Ciara fended off the horde of demons. Her Parabatai was always on the same wavelength as her, and when she'd thrown herself in front of the fallen Cerin, he'd got her out the way so that she wouldn't get hurt any worse.

She decided looking shocked wasn't the best way to convey her feelings, so she glared at him. The same glare he used when she'd done something to annoy him. Except of course, she didn't look too much like him, so you couldn't tell unless you looked closely that it was his glare.

Jace looked sheepish. She frowned at him moodily.

Ciara didn't look impressed- but then again, he'd never told her much about her immediate family, unless he had to, like now. But she simply flounced off in the direction Rick disappeared, after using his own glare on him.

He turned back to his sister. Except, she wasn't there. Typical.

Cassidy glared at him, but it was Clary's glare.

Luckily- sort of- Alec and Magnus came flying through the front door at that moment, to find Cassidy making a flying leap for someone, bursting out of her skin.

_PMSing Werewolf._ Althea thought, amused.

Jace grappled with Cassidy before Magnus sent a shower of blue sparks flying into his chest, knocking him back into the Institute walls. Jace bounced straight off, landing lightly on his feet, grinning.

Cassidy charged at him again, and then let out a howl of pain. Simon didn't see Jace do anything, so turned his gaze to where the kids had run off too. The angry girl was standing there, and now looking back at Cassidy, he could see a sword poking out from behind her shoulder blade. Obviously, the girl had thrown it.

Alec scurried over and pulled the blade out of the wolf, only to drop it as if it had burned him. The girl grinned wickedly.

"Ende!" she called and the sword flew into her hand, the crystal in the hilt glowing lightly. She twirled it, before sheathing it in her belt. Cassidy, now healed, leapt for the girl, who pulled two mini staffs out of her belt. As Cassidy approached, two blades shot out of each one, and she spun them with precision. Jace darted across the room, grabbed the wolf's tail and pulled her out of the way of deadly weapons. Scowling, the girl handed them to him, and collapsing the blades, he shoved them through his belt. She unclipped the sword as well, and he took it, careful to only handle the sheath.

The girl stalked off after Jace said something in her ear, muttering something about unfair punishments.

He spun to face his audience, blood dribbling down his forehead from where Cassidy had clawed him, but otherwise unharmed.

He grinned, and Alec fumed at him.

"Where's your tutor! I'm going to kill that stupid immature idiot..."

Simon snorted.

"What Daylighter?"

"Jace is definitely immature for his age." Jace shot him a look. Cassidy grinned. Althea just shrugged, a smile playing on her lips.

"CIARA! COME BACK HERE NOW!" Nicki didn't sound happy, and something told Jace that Ciara had just tried to do a runner.

Ciara burst through the door, again, with an irate Nicki on her heels. She had something in her hands, and obviously, Nicki wasn't impressed she had it. And because he couldn't get a clear look at her eyes, he couldn't stop her. And all Jace could do was laugh.

That was, until Ciara ran up the wall, did a back flip and let whatever was in her hands fly.

Fairy dust.

Jace was allergic to fairy dust, and she knew it.

Nicki managed to get a hand on her, and slapped her, hard. But she couldn't stop laughing.

Meanwhile, Jace was trying desperately not to breathe in any of the foul stuff. Some did get in though, and he felt his throat tighten. And of course, very few people knew he was allergic to fairy dust.

Brilliant.

Luckily, Isabelle chose that moment to arrive herself, and seeing Nicki trying to deal with Ciara, took the girl off him. Nicki dashed over to Jace, stele in hand, drawing the rune that worked against anaphylaxis. The very one Clary had made up when they first found out Jace was allergic, ironically.

Sadly, that didn't deter Jace from marching over to where Isabelle was trying to talk Ciara down with an angry set to his face.

Then an amazing thing happened. The rune on Jace's chest burned, and he felt... a presence.

_Jace, stop this. For me._

_And there she was, in all her glory, his beautiful Clary, looking straight at him._

"_I haven't got long. Jace, make peace with our daughter. Please."_

And then she was gone, just like that. Ripped from him, never to return.

* * *

He was powerful. I had my wish for a few brief moments, felt the sweet shores of death, and he brought me back, back from the brink. I saw angels, dancing, and beauty.

I saw, and now I am blind again, trapped in this dark, damp hell hole.

* * *

Jace sat quietly on the roof of the Institute, looking out across the New York sky line. He'd shoved past Alec as he left hours ago, and had wandered aimlessly around the streets for hours, before scrambling up onto the roof.

He heard someone come towards him, and looked up to see Alec making his way precariously to where he sat, shivering.

"I didn't know you had an allergy to Fairy Dust. Explains why you felt so ill after we went to the Seelie court. They make it there. I'm not surprised it was banned under the Accords. What they use it for is just horrible."

"I only found out when Clary first got pregnant. She had to come up with a rune fast, because I went purple."

"Ouch. Look man, I'm sorry I didn't recognise you earlier. So much has changed in seventeen years."

"Except me. On the outside anyway. Inside I'm just a shell with nothing to hold onto." Jace threw a stray stone he'd found in his pocket.

"Jace, you'll never change. Be grateful." Alec sounded sad, and when Jace turned to face him, he could have sworn he saw a tear glistening in the corner of his eye.

**Review!**

**Bow Wow!**


	5. We Weren't Born to Follow

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMI, but I do own Alyssa. HAAAAAAA... I'm going crazy, aren't I?**

**Enjoy!**

**p.s lyrics belong to Bon Jovi, and we weren't born to follow.**

What is the light of the sun? Is it bright, is it tangible? I have forgotten what the light of the sun is like, what it felt like, how it changed a day from bleak to beautiful. What is the light of the sun, when down here, there is nothing but shadow.

I every corner of this prison is something waiting to kill me- horrid shapes that I can't see, blurs of movement that I can't make out. Curse my eyes for their incompetence; curse him for destroying my sight.

I was blind, but now I see.

I will never see again.

* * *

Alyssa had never particularly liked New York, and today was no exception. She was standing on a roof top, watching her Uncles demons swarm the Institute. The first wave had failed, butchered by visiting Shadowhunters, so her Uncle had insisted she went with the second wave to make sure things went according to plan. Not that she really cared. Watching Shadowhunters die was fun.

Her companion, a demon named Drazi had been given specific orders to capture one of the Shadowhunters, and they were waiting for the best time to strike. Today was a scope- to work out what the Shadowhunters weaknesses were, how he fought etc. They would take him another day. For Alyssa, this was a chance to prove to her Uncle that she was worthy of praise, and could bring him home something nice.

News that everything had gone to plan.

The Shadowhunters appeared, and there were a lot of them.

One girl had skills that Alyssa envied. She dispatched demons like they were made of paper, twirling two double blades, which shone in the moonlight. Alyssa was jealous of the girl for the weapons and skill, but not for who she was. Shadowhunters all deserved to die if they refused to serve the cause.

A song that she'd been listening to on her Uncle's computer earlier sprung into her mind.

_This one goes out to the man who mines for miracles  
this one goes out to the ones in need  
this one goes out for the sinner and the cynical  
this ain't about no apology  
this road was paved by the hopeless and the hungry  
this road was paved by the winds of change  
walking beside the guilty and the innocent  
how will you raise your hand when they call your name?_

_Yea, Yea, Yea,  
we weren't born to follow  
come on and get up off your knees  
when life is a bitter pill to swallow  
you gotta hold on to what you believe  
believe that the sun will shine tomorrow  
and that your saints and sinners bleed  
we weren't born to follow  
you gotta stand up for what you believe  
let me hear you say  
Yea, Yea, Yea, ooooohhh, Yea_

_This one's about anyone who does it differently  
this one's about the one who cusses and spits  
this ain't about our living in a fantasy  
this ain't about giving up or giving in_

_Yea, Yea, Yea,  
we weren't born to follow  
come on and get up off your knees  
when life is a bitter pill to swallow  
you gotta hold on to what you believe  
believe that the sun will shine tomorrow  
and that your saints and sinners bleed  
we weren't born to follow  
you gotta stand up for what you believe  
let me hear you say  
Yea, Yea, Yea, ooooohhh, Yea_

_let me hear you say  
Yea, Yea, Yea, ooooohhh, Yea_

_Yea, Yea, Yea,  
we weren't born to follow  
come on and get up off your knees  
when life is a bitter pill to swallow  
you gotta hold on to what you believe  
believe that the sun will shine tomorrow  
and that your saints and sinners bleed  
we weren't born to follow  
you gotta stand up for what you believe  
let me hear you say  
Yea, Yea, Yea, ooooohhh, Yea_

She sang along quietly. The sing was from when her Uncle was younger, but it was still a good song. Drazi looked at her as if to say _are you insane_. She ignored him. Her focus was on the scene unfolding below them.

Tucking a strand of her red hair behind her ear, she leaned further forward over the edge of the roof, watching the girl fight her way through the horde to a boy. He was obviously a close friend, because they worked well as a team. Her Uncle would probably know some snazzy term, but Alyssa really didn't care.

* * *

Simon heard the commotion before he saw it- demons, and lots of them. Althea was far behind him, and he stopped to wait for her. Her eyes travelled upward when she reached him, and he saw who she saw, leaning precariously over the edge of the roof top.

Alyssa.

And Drazi.

Oh damn it.

That meant that she was very definitely deeply imbedded, and that made it difficult to extract her from his claws.

Alyssa was just so important. Simon and Althea were the only ones who knew that both girls were still alive, let alone close by. And it was their personal mission to unite the girls- who had no real idea just who they were.

* * *

I am not darkness, I am light.

I am too weak to fight.

My love is gone, I'm bleeding whole.

And my kin is out to kill me tonight.

I thought that to myself- a rhyme I'd learned from a dear friend. Remembering things was all that could keep me barely sane. I didn't have any companionship except the howls of pain from my fellow prisoners.

My throat was like paper, and my head was pounding.

A bowl of water was pushed through the bars, and I dove for it, using my nose and senses to find it. I ignored the excruciating pain the movement caused- all I needed was water, that sweet crystal saviour, to sate my parched body.

It was gone too quickly, and my dry lips were cracked- I could taste blood in my mouth. I heard his footsteps in the corridor, and shrank to the back of my cell, hoping he wasn't coming for me. My cell door clicked open, and I knew that I was in for something horrible.

And once again, I wished he'd just let me die.

**Thanks to all reviewers!**

**Bow Wow!**

**Vikki ;)~**


	6. My Heart Will Go On

Disclaimer: all work belongs to their respective creators. TMI belongs to Cassandra Clare, and the lyrics belong to Celine Dion.

**To Figureskater1589- I had to get Clary out the way to make Jace depressed because of the end of this chapter, and the rest of the plot. And also, I thought it added a good dynamic to the father daughter relationship.**

**Enjoy!**

The demons were gone, and Jace was sitting in the room he and Clary shared in the early days of their marriage. Alec had left it the way it was, with Clary's artwork on the walls, and a copy of their wedding photo on the bedside table. When Jace opened the wardrobe, some of Clary's clothes were still in there, where she'd left them, just in case. Her Shadowhunting gear was neatly folded and hung, and there was a top and a pair of jeans next to it.

He rooted around under the bed and found one of Clary's old sketch books, from when they thought they were brother and sister. at the very back was a picture of a large ship, with two people standing on the deck, the wind ruffling their hair. Jace recognised the scene after being subjected to Titanic during their honeymoon. Except instead of the actors, Clary had put herself and Jace on the deck.

Around the outside, the lyrics to one of her favourite songs from the movie were tattooed. Jace dug up the song and pressed play.

_Every night in my dreams  
I see you, I feel you,  
that is how I know you, go on_

_Far across the distance  
and spaces between us  
you have come to show you, go on_

_Near, far, wherever you are  
I believe that the heart does go on  
once more you open the door  
and you're here in my heart  
and my heart will go on and on_

_Love can touch us one time  
and last for a lifetime  
and never let go 'til we're gone_

_Love was when I loved you  
one true time I hold to  
in my life we'll always go on_

_Near, far, wherever you are  
I believe that the heart does go on  
once more you open the door  
and you're here in my heart  
and my heart will go on and on  
(mmhmm)_

_You're here, there's nothing I fear  
and I know that my heart will go on  
we'll stay forever this way  
you are safe in my heart  
and my heart will go on and on  
(mmhmm)_

There was a tear in Jace's eye, but he wiped it away. He continued searching through the book, until he came to a letter, pressed between its pages.

_Darling Jace._

_I guessed one day you'd come looking through this book, so this would probably be the best place to leave this little soppy note._

_Don't expect to see miss precious again. I doubt she'll have survived this long in my little prison. Oh yeah, and if you see the other brat... whatever her name was, tell her Uncle Johnny says hi._

_Jonathan._

Jace dropped the sheet, open mouthed.

* * *

_Near, far, wherever you are..._

I thought the song, wondering what anyone else would do in my situation. Would they try again to scream for help? Would they beg with their captor to release them?

I'd long given up hope. There was no light at the end of the tunnel for me. No chance of escape, no chance of making it out of here before I died.

I wished that I could know what happened outside of my containment- who was president? Had any wars been waged? What was going on in the Downworld? But I was as oblivious to current affairs as I was blind.

* * *

Ciara watched Rick apply the bandage to her arm. Trust her to slit her wrist with her own blade by accident. Josh was at the other end of the infirmary, talking to his mother. Cerin had disappeared off to the library and the rest of the students were dispersed around the Institute.

She dragged Rick up to the living area, and went through the DVD collection, seeing as there was an old DVD player attached to the TV. She laughed when she found a collection of home videos. She grabbed one labelled, New York Teens, 2010!

She cuddled up on the sofa, her feet in Rick's lap, and pressed play.

"_Okay. Ever wondered what New York's finest get up to in their free time? Wonder no longer!" said the narrator. It sounded a little like Isabelle._

_The camera was walked to a familiar part of the residential wing. Jace's room was along that corridor._

"_Clary! Clary, come back here!" Jace's voice rang out, and a red headed woman came flying past the camera, closely pursued by Jace. The camera was jogged after them, to the kitchen where Jace caught Clary, kissing her lovingly on the cheek, then the lips._

"You can see why he misses her, cant you?" Rick said, watching the couple on screen.

"Yeah. She was his everything."

"You speak like you know from experience. He's like a father to you, isn't he?"

"You could say that." Ciara said uncomfortably. She turned the DVD off. "I can't watch this. I'll see you later Rick."

* * *

The music room was silent, except for a light tinkle of piano keys. Jace sat in the stool, running his fingers over the keys. He heard Ciara come in, and looked at her. She looked like a Herondale, but underneath her skin, she had the fiery temper of her mother. The Fairchild temper.

She sat down next to him, and cried. Ciara, who built up the same strong facade as her father, broke down and cried on his shoulder. The other brat Jonathan had said. Alyssa. Jonathan had Alyssa, and Clary. But he'd put Clary in the prison, and it was impossible for her to still be alive. If Jonathan was anything of the torturer Valentine was, then she was dead and gone, long ago.

But poor Alyssa, brought up by Jonathan. So full of hatred. She'd be nothing of the little angel Jace had held in his arms, the sweet little baby whose first word had been momma. And Ciara, well Ciara had always been a daddy's girl.

Jace comforted Ciara until she had no more tears left to cry. He didn't ask what was wrong, or even complain. And when she was finished, she was so tired that she fell asleep. He swung her up into his arms and carried her to her room, tucking her in like he had when she was a little girl.

"Rick." She mumbled in her sleep, and Jace turned out the light and went back to his own room.

* * *

Ciara woke up screaming.

The wolf in her dreams had been coming right for her, mouth wide, spittle dripping from its deadly fangs. No one appeared to have heard her, so she went down to the kitchen to get a drink. She drank half a glass of water, pouring the rest down the sink. Looking up, she nearly fainted in shock.

Rick was standing in the door, his chest bare, holding an empty glass.

"Rick! You scared me!"

"Ciara, the fearless, scared of me?"

"I had a nightmare. I'm a little jumpy." She explained, seeking her best friend's warm embrace. He grabbed her tight, pulling her into his muscular chest. She smiled, his familiar smell chasing away her nightmares.

Good old Rick- never asking what Ciara meant when she made silly comments that didn't fit. He was always there for her, and although he was a lot closer to his second year at the academy than her, he always turned to her if he needed help.

He just accepted that Ciara was unwilling to talk much about her family- unlike others who probed, trying to work out what blood lay beneath her skin. It was a general assumption that she was Jonathan's child- after all, Clary's pregnancy hadn't been widely broadcast, and those who knew thought that Ciara was dead. And had quite probably forgotten what she was called.

Ciara found herself in the library, running her fingers along the spines of worn books, beautiful books that deserved all the tender love and care in the world.

"Hello Ciara." The voice came from a beautiful red headed woman sitting at the library desk. "You look like your mother did when she walked into this library. Loving books obviously runs in the family." She smiled, closing the photo album she was flicking through.

"I think you're confused. No one knows who my mother is."

"Call it a mother's instinct. And the fact I saw your birthmark when you brushed your hair off your neck when you came in the door." The woman smiled again.

"Nobody ever notices my birthmark. They just think it's another scar, especially since I had chicken pox when I was little."

"Your mother had one on her shoulder. Your father's is on his shoulder. It once convinced his grandmother to sacrifice her life for him." The woman sighed. "I remember the day your mother brought you here, when you were two weeks old. You and your sister were so different, not just in looks.

"Alyssa would never settle in anyone's arms except your mothers, whilst you always wanted Jace. Cassidy was barely walking, and she got jealous when we fussed you and your sister." the woman laughed.

"who are you?"

"Jocelyn Graymark, but once upon a time I was Jocelyn Morgenstern, your grandmother."

Ciara grinned. "That explains why you and mom look so alike." Jocelyn laughed again and gestured Ciara over.

"These were taken after the second uprising, in the early days of your parent's relationship."

Ciara flicked through, and was surprised by the familiar faces. Reading the captions, she was shocked to know that Isabelle Herondale was once Jace's adopted sister, and married his brother. Alec Bane was formerly Alec Lightwood, Jace's adopted brother. He was with the Warlock Magnus Bane.

Clary and Jace were always smiling and laughing, or putting on serious faces as they faced each other down. There was a good one of Clary and Jocelyn, grinning wildly.

There was a break in the dates- two years. The next photo was of Jace being chased by Clary, with a meat cleaver in her hand. There were a few photos of her mother with an engagement ring on her finger, before the album went on to her wedding photos. Ciara had only ever seen one photo from her parents wedding, but this seemed to be a good collection.

"I've never seen some of these. Dad only has the one of him and mum after they got married."

"Your mother put this album together to leave in the library- her legacy. She wanted to leave a little bit of herself for future generations. I don't know what happened to her actual wedding album- I always assumed Jace had it."

"He probably does- in a box along with the rest of her stuff. She left her wedding rings behind when she went to the wolves, because rings are a pain because the magic doesn't affect them." Ciara pulled her mother's rings out from under her shirt, where she wore them on a chain around her neck. The Morgenstern ring glinted in the witchlight, and the stone in her engagement ring glowed. Her wedding ring shone the brightest. "I like to keep a little bit of her close to my heart."

* * *

Jace didn't really know why he was in Pandemonium. The club was still going, even though it had been there when Jace was the age of many of its visitors. He sat in the back room, remembering the first time he ever saw Clary, how she was just so...mundane.

He remembered the way she smiled, the way he'd walked into that club in San Francisco and heard her beautiful voice, and in the coming days fell in love with her all over again. He didn't cry as he remembered Clary at her finest, arguing with Maryse against the Clave to get the plans for her Academy approved.

He remembered the way she'd shone like the light of a thousand suns as she walked up the aisle to marry him, and thinking, _I don't deserve her._ He remembered the way she'd gripped his hand so tight that she broke bones when she went into labour. He remembered her face when they brought out their two tiny girls, Ciara and Alyssa.

He was remembering her when the demons came.

There were only a couple of them, but a broken, weapon less Shadowhunter was no threat to them. Jace tried to struggle, but then another, much more powerful demon appeared. He blew a horrid smelling powder at Jace, something that knocked him cold.

Drazi smiled. He had his gift for Jonathan- his brother in law. If Jonathan couldn't get the girl, then he'd get the person most likely to know where she was. Jace was such an easy target, moping after his lost wife. It was too easy to predict that he would visit pandemonium at some point- something special to him about the horrid place, apparently. Jonathan had choked it out a waitress from Taki's.

That's the other place Drazi had demons holed up- Taki's. Jace's favourite restaurant/bar was another spot Drazi needed monitoring, despite the fact Pandemonium was the easier option. His demons dragged Jace's unconscious body through the city, under glamour, of course.

They reached the bone city, abandoned now after Silent Brothers had decided to build elsewhere. They couldn't stand the idea of being in a place where there brothers had met a grisly death. Weaklings.

Jonathan was sitting in one of the many rooms, contemplating world domination, like any super villain. He was happy- his sister was no longer a threat and his brother never had been a threat. Amber had vanished and Jace, hopefully, was going to be brought in by Drazi.

The demon appeared, his followers behind him carrying Jace's dead weight. Jonathan stood and led them to the cell he wanted him in.

"Hey! I have a present for you. Try not to eat it before the morning!" he yelled to its occupant.

* * *

Jace sat up groggily, looking around the dank, dark cell. There was no real light being admitted anywhere, and the cells seemed strangely familiar. But then again, a cell was a cell.

"I was beginning to think you were dead. I thought you were never going to come to your senses." Said a voice that was so dry and rasping that Jace couldn't tell if it was male or female.

"I'm guessing this isn't The Celtic Manor, is it?"

"_Jace?"_ that voice... it seemed to have a familiar undercurrent.

"_Clary?"_

**DUN DUN DA!**

**Review!**

**Btw, The Celtic Manor is a very posh hotel/ golf resort in Wales- where the Ryder cup is 2010.**

**Also, I'm going on holiday for two weeks... so no updates! Sorry! I will do paper versions to type up, I promise!**

**Bow Wow!**

**Vikki ;)~**


	7. Flashback

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments!**

**For anyone who has read this story before, this is a chapter I added because one kind reviewer pointed out that this story jumps around a lot. And for those of you who want to know more about the girls childhood, A, I may do a prequel that covers it, and B, there is a flash back in this chapter which deals with a pivotal point in Alyssa's childhood.**

**Enjoy!**

**Thanks for reviewing, and keep em coming Btw.**

Ciara said goodnight to her grandmother and went back to her room, her fingers still running over the smooth surface of her mother's rings. Clary's moonstone engagement band glowed brightly, and checking her calendar Ciara wasn't surprised to discover that there was a full moon that night.

The institute's bare rooms reminded her of the rooms at the academy, where nobody dared unpack and personalise their rooms on the fear of being chucked out the next day. The only rooms that really showed any signs of somebody living in them day in day out were the teachers, but Jace's had always been bare as long as she could remember, ever since she was a little girl, basically.

She ruffled through her worn duffle bag and pulled out the only photo of her and her dad- the one from the day she was born. His eyes were full of adoration, and she was curled up fast asleep in his arms, tiny and fragile. On the back of the photograph was a note in her mother's cryptic hand-

_Ciara and Jace, aged 6hrs old. Who would have thought?_

She'd memorised every flick of her handwriting, every word of hers that she'd ever seen. The black book had been mass produced multiple times over, and the copy Ciara owned- the only one she'd been allowed to see- was written by one of the Silent Brothers.

Ciara knew that her father had Clary's original version somewhere, but she'd never seen it or been able to find it. He kept it somewhere safe, somewhere that even Nikki couldn't guess where he'd hidden it, and her Uncle had tried. You see, Nikki missed his sister greatly, and often reminisced over the short few years they'd spent together.

Christi also missed her pack leader, Ciara knew, and that was half the reason she refused to teach her how to Change when it first became apparent that the moon didn't affect her. Her reasoning was that Ciara's mother would never have forced her life on her, and anyway, Jace forbade it. Nikki didn't side with him in that decision, but he backed down without putting up much of a fight.

So Ciara was stuck in one single form with no idea who or what she was or was going to be, and it was infuriating. Her father held so much back from her, and kept her on such a tight leash that she was more stressed and angry than any half werewolf had any right to be.

She decided it was time to change that- to find out once and for all why her father had denied her so much during her life. She grabbed her weapons and tied them securely around her waist, and walked down the corridor with a purposeful determination fixed on her face. Her father's room was in a different wing, but everyone was either asleep or on their way home, so the institute was dead, if it ever was alive. A small Persian cat suddenly appeared and trotted at her heels, meowing angrily like it was trying to talk to her.

She finally made it to her father's room, and she didn't even bother to knock on the door. She slammed it open, ready to demand to know the truth, but he wasn't there.

There was a worn old sketch book on his meticulous covers, left open to a page covered in writing and drawings. Next to it was a note, but she didn't bother to read it. Her father's Stele and Seraph blades were abandoned on the bedside table, proof that he wasn't going to be coming back anytime soon. Jace never went anywhere with his blades, ever. Something was wrong, and Ciara knew it.

She was a whirlwind as she searched every inch of the institute, looking for him, but to no avail. She couldn't find him anywhere. Nikki materialized as she desperately ran out onto the street, calling Jace's name into the night, and wrestled her back in the doors.

His hypnotic eyes fell on hers, and all her fear, all her desperation vanished like a hazy mist. He sat her down on a chair and asked her what was the matter, and she told him, watching as his face grew more and more serious, his laugh lines stretching out into worry lines.

By morning, the news had spread around the whole of New York that Jace Herondale was missing.

The only sad thing was that his sister wasn't there to hear it.

* * *

Sometimes a person can't help but cry, because it is human nature. The last time Alyssa cried thought, she was six, no more than a child, but she was already a killing machine. Her Uncle had made sure that she knew how to maim someone since she was old enough to hold a knife, old enough to kill.

The hardest lesson she'd ever learnt was to do with sympathy. When she was a young girl, she thought that her life was perfect- her Uncle gave her anything she wanted, within reason. He also taught her whatever she needed to learn, whenever she needed to learn it.

But she also felt other people's pain, and she felt sorry for them. She felt sorry for downworlders with their demon diseases and half breed ways, for mundanes with their unseeing eyes. But her Uncle saw her sympathy as a curse, not a blessing.

So one day, he sent the cook out to do an exceptionally long job form him.

_He grabbed her by her hair and dragged her into the bathroom, kicking and screaming. Her wild thrashes didn't deter him in anyway; in fact they seemed to make him even more determined. He'd filled the bath with scalding water, and he threw her heartlessly into it._

_The water burned her skin and she thrashed harder, trying desperately to escape. Stinging tears poured from her eyes, and then he dunked her head under, boiling her face. He said that it would teach her that crying was something that was reserved only for the weak. He said that it would teach her a lesson, a lesson he had learnt too late- that caring and feeling got you killed._

_He then pulled her out and shoved her against the icy white tiled wall, slicing a thin red line across her scalp, leaving behind a small smear of red._

"_Sympathy will get you killed in this war! Feel no pain! Not your own! Not mine! Not anyone's! Or I will have to kill you!"_

And that is why she found herself unable to feel. That is why crying wasn't in her vocabulary. That's why she was frozen, and there was nothing she could do to change that- she'd been like it too long.

The bag moved under her hands- she could almost swear that she heard it grunting as her fist smashed into the worn leather. The chains securing it rattled loudly in time to the music, her heart pounding in her ears. Her breath hissed into her lungs, and she was exhaling every time her fists connected with the target- s technique she'd learnt long ago about putting power into techniques- and about stopping yourself getting winded if someone (or something) hit you at the same time.

She almost didn't hear her Uncle come in, but when she spun to deliver a bone crunching spinning back kick, she saw him leaning casually against the wall, the stereo remote in his hand. When their eyes met, turned the thing off, meaning he wanted to talk to her. To give her a mission.

"Relax Alyssa. You're too tense- you'll never be better than the Nephilim if you are tense." She relaxed her shoulders, breathing out deeply. He nodded in approval. "Good. Now, I have a small task for you- alone. I want you to find out some information for me about a group of werewolves named the Terra's. I think Reni's would be the best bet for the kind of information I seek. It's almost opening time, so you should go dress and prepare your weapons." He spun on his heel and walked out, the true master of his own little world.

Alyssa threw her dripping clothes on her bathroom floor and stepped into the shower, rinsing out her thick red hair under the warm stream of water. Once she'd washed all the sweat off her body, she wrapped her towel around herself and walked into her room, going over to her wardrobe to select an outfit.

She chose one of her favourite black ensembles, one that her Uncle rarely let her out in, but for this task, it was perfect. She slipped on a silver bracelet, embossed with crosses and dipped in holy water, and an intricate iron anklet, along with her whip coiled neatly around her neck, disguised as a choker- which she supposed was kind of fitting, seeing as what she usually used it for was strangling people- not people, she reminded herself. Downworlders.

Reni's was a Downworld bar that was well known for catering some of the dirtiest types of Downworlder- those who were on the run, those who had turned their backs on their packs or covens. It was also the best place to find out gossip- mainly because so many of its patrons were the individuals involved.

Once she arrived, her eyes automatically sought out a werewolf with a scar that marred his face- one she had never seen before. He couldn't have been much more than thirty, but he had a sense of wisdom- like he had already seen the horrors of the world.

She walked over, knowing she was probably going to regret it. The moment he saw her though, his half-drunk face sobered up. But not in the way that most did when they saw her- no, this was… recognition, very well concealed recognition. Her Uncle had taught her how to read somebody, decipher what they were thinking.

Suddenly, a very drunk, very male werewolf got in her face, his intentions written clearly all over his face. He tried to grab Alyssa, but before she could knee him in the balls, a strong arm wrenched him back, sending him sprawling across the bar. The man stood over him, the scarred side of his face towards Alyssa.

"Go back to the gutter you crawled out of!" he barked. "wolves like you disgrace the name and reputation the Terra's built for us. You are a disgrace to the cause they died for, and disgrace to the cause our saviour died a martyr for!" just what I need. Alyssa thought slyly. Someone who knows something about the Terra's.

"the Terra's are all dead. They've been dead for years. nobody cares about them anymore." The drunk werewolf growled, and shoved the man away. He recovered himself and turned to look at Alyssa.

"Maybe they should care, or my name isn't Mattie." He muttered, and walked towards her, grabbing her arm and dragging her out of the bar. "Don't come back here. It's not safe for someone like you to come to a place like this."

"I can handle myself thank you." She ripped her arm out of his grasp. "anyway, seeing as you have escorted me away from my predetermined purpose, you'll have to do. I want to know about the Terra's."

"That story is a long one to tell, and I'm not sure that you'll want to hear everything I have to say about it."

"I do."

"Well, I suppose I have time… come find me at the Birckwick three weeks today. I'll tell you the whole story then. But until then, adios." He turned and walked away.

"You didn't even tell me your name!"

"Mathew." He called over his shoulder.

**Phew. It's surprising how productive a prep session can be.**

**So, to all you who said it jumps around too much, this is the beginning of my response. Please review and tell me what you think, and also pointers to where else it jumps around too much would really be great.**

**Yes, I am continuing this story. Those reviews I got telling me to keep on going were so inspirational guys, thanks. One in particular really moved me, so yeah, thanks a lot. Like a million. And those who didn't review, you should totally thank them to. And those who subconsciously told me to go on, thanks. And of course, thanks to anyone who reads this!**

**And I even managed over 2,000 words without putting a song in! yay!**

**And thanks to Serenity Shadowstar, for her advice on where to take it next.**

**Bow Wow!**

**Vikki ;)~**


	8. We Can Still Believe

**Disclaimer: the mortal instruments belong to Cassandra Clare. The Lyrics belong to Celine Dion.**

It was that day, deep in the heart of Idris. _That day. _The day that meant so much pain and tears. The day that reminded everyone that their lives were only fleeting on the surface of the Earth, and that she could rise up and take them in an instant. It was a reminder that a Shadowhunter's life span was so much shorter than that of an ordinary Mundane.

It was the day that they remembered Clary most- she was always close on that day, watching over them. Amber had sworn on many occasion that she heard her voice in the wind, but this was quickly dimissed as grief. She heard it that day as well, the same song, the same soft carrying on the wind as they mourned the day.

_If ever a boy stood on the moon  
All the heavens would call them angels 'round  
Stop the tears from troubled sky's...from  
Falling...falling...falling._

If ever the river could whisper your name,  
Would the choices you made still be the same?  
Like a flower that dies from angry rain,  
Why do we hurt ourselves?

Where is the love that lets the sunlight in to start again?  
The love that sees no color lines?  
Life begins with love,  
So spread your wings & fly,  
Guide your spirit safe & sheltered,  
A thousand dreams that we can still believe.

If ever a boy stood on the moon,  
Carrying all of his treasures from the stars  
To a rainbow which leads to where we are.  
Together we'd chase the sun.

Where is the love that lifts my brother's voice to the skies?  
The love that answers a mother's cry?  
Life begins with love,  
So spread your wings & fly,  
Guide your spirit safe & sheltered.  
A thousand dreams that we can still believe.

A boy stood on the moon  
The ancient souls can still discover  
A thousand dreams that we can still believe  
That we can still believe  
We can still believe  
We can still believe

Clary's voice was carried on the wind, because Amber knew that her dreams flew with her soul, and if you knew how to listen, you could hear her beautiful voice, lamenting for her brother in law.

Amber's eyes were wet with tears as she knelt outside the Herondale Mausoleum. She knew that her brother rarely visited- his tears fell silently. But Lucas deserved a visit on his anniversary, didn't he?

Isabelle climbed the hill, carrying a bouquet of Lucas' favourite flowers. Josh followed behind her, trying to disguise the fact his eyes were streaming. She seemed distracted, and Amber felt her heart pang.

"Amber, I'm so sorry. Jace is missing, and well... they found blood at Pandemonium. The whole school is in shambles, no one knows what to do and Alec won't come out of his room and Ciara is waking up screaming about wolves in the night..."

Amber pulled Isabelle tight, her eyes wet with even more tears, and she swore she saw Clary standing behind them, high on the hill, smiling. Her eyes shone brightly, and something told Amber that wherever she was, it couldn't be too bad.

Unlike her brother, she didn't believe that Clary was still with them- Amber thought that Clary's spirit was locked in the between planes. The planes where angels are made. Clary's wings touched earth, and single withered rose on little Max's grave burst back into life.

_Believe, because those who are dead are not at the end of their journey. Out of blindness, there is sight. Dreams of death and freedom that touch heaven. Believe, and many miracles happen._

She closed her eyes, and Clary's bright white light was gone.

And that time, even Isabelle believed she was there, watching. And that gave her hope of finding her brother, the only person who could be... well, Jace.

**I know it's short, but I wanted to fill a little gap- and I will get some content for you that is a little less depressing soon, I promise.**

**Bow Wow!**

**Vikki ;)~**


	9. Lithium

**Disclaimer: all rights belong to the Great Cassandra Clare**

**Oh, yeah, and I know I said I wasn't going to update because I was on holiday, I'm stuck in the house while my parents get ready to go. So what else could I do but write another chapter?**

**Enjoy!**

"Alyssa!" the new boy yelled after her. She quickened her pace, trying to get away. "Alyssa! Wait up!"

"Let me guess, you're a jock looking for a pretty girl to sit on the side lines at your next game?" she said sarcastically. "I'm not available, so quit trying."

"I'm not a jock." Simon said, sighing. This was going to be difficult. Tanl about a carbon copy of Jace's attitude.

"Fine then, you're a nerd, hoping to get laid so that the jocks will stop dumping you in a rubbish bin. Well guess what, I'm not interested."

"Alyssa, I'm not looking to get off, okay? I'm trying to help you."

"Help me? With what?" she looked at him like he was completely crazy- which he quite possibly was.

"To get away from your Uncle." Simon explained, hoping she would bite.

"I don't need to leave my Uncle. He's taught me everything that I need to know."

"Except who you are. I bet he told you that the Clave is evil, that your powers are a gift from the angel to use against them, and that to have Shadowhunter blood makes you inherently evil." Simon said, hoping he was right.

"How did you know that...?" Alyssa's face turned from stony to slightly softer.

"Because I knew him when he was still young and I knew the two people strong enough to conquer him. One of them twice." Simon replied, sighing at the memory of Clary. "That was your parents. And your mother was my best friend."

"My parents abandoned me. They were mundanes. You're lying." Alyssa snarled.

"If they were mundanes, then why do you snarl like a werewolf? Why can you move things with a flick of your hand? Why are you a stronger fighter than any mundane ever could be?" Simon questioned, and watched Alyssa chew the thoughts.

"You're saying, all these years, that my uncle has lied to me?" she said, disbelieving.

"He lies to everyone Alyssa. It's what he does. Your father wept for you and your mother sacrificed her life in desperate attempt to save you. They never would have abandoned you. Never." Alyssa looked at him strangely.

"No, my parents didn't care... you said you knew my mother? That makes you a... a Downworlder. Vermin."

"Your mother was the one who begged the Clave to ally themselves with us. She begged that they would share who they were with us, so that we could share with them. She worked for many years to convince the Clave to allow Shadowhunters who had been infected by Downworlders to be able to continue being Shadowhunters. She wrote the black book."

"She wrote the book? Uncle always said the book was a myth, created by the Clave to make the Downworlders believe that they had a chance." There were tears beginning to form in the corners of Alyssa's eyes.

"Yes; and your father ran her academy after her death. He ran it until he disappeared, leaving Ciara alone in the world, broken and without anyone in her immediate family to look after her, except for her Uncle." Simon lowered his voice to a soft, sympathetic tone.

"Who's Ciara?" Alyssa snapped, suddenly snapping into her normal attitude.

"Your sister." Alyssa looked taken aback, and he watched the pretence drop again.

"I don't have a sister... do I?" she was beginning to realise just how little she knew about her family.

"You do, a twin sister. The exact opposite in some ways- she takes after her father's side of the family whilst you take after your mothers pretty much- except your eyes."

Alyssa fainted.

* * *

"Who is she again Simon? Because you lost me at raised by Jonathan." Isabelle said irritably as Simon lay the girl down on a sick bed.

"I said, she's Clary and Jace's daughter- Alyssa." Simon sighed, rummaging through the cupboard for some smelling salts.

"I thought Alyssa went missing along with Clary and the other one."

"CIARA!" there was a loud scream resonating through the Institute. Rick appeared with the girl in his arms, blood streaming from her nose. Her head hung limply and she was deathly pale. Isabelle dashed over and helped Rick lie her down on a bed.

She looked around the Infirmary for the bible on all things wacky. Aka the first aid manual.

"Well don't just stand there Simon, do something useful!" she snapped at the vampire, who had looked confused.

"Isabelle, I don't think there is anything you can do. I think she's channelling. Channelling something that's happening, or going to happen to someone else."

"And how did you jump to that amazing conclusion?"

"That isn't her blood. It smells like it's... _Jace's?"_

* * *

Jace clutched his bleeding nose tightly as Jonathan shoved him back in the cell.

"I told you not to go against him. You never listen to me, do you?" Clary said sadly, her green eyes looking past him absently.

"I don't see you getting off your butt to help me, so why should I?"

She laughed. "I would if I could see where you were Jace."

"You're looking straight at me. The light isn't that bad."

"For you." She sad it with remorse in her voice. Jace saw it then, the milky film on her eyes, the way they looked towards noise, not light. Never focused.

"You're blind." Jace realised, his voice suddenly soft. He could hear her soft sobs.

"Pretty much. He...he poured silver in my eyes. They never healed. It was shortly after I first got here." Jace ignored his bleeding nose and crawled over to where she was. Jonathan had come for him shortly after he woke up, before he could really talk to his wife. Even in the poor light, he could see how much nearly seventeen years in a cell had changed her.

The weird thing was she hadn't aged- she was just covered in awful scars, and way too thin.

"The forever rune. For as long as you survive, the one who marked you will."

"How did you know I was going to ask that?"

"Over the years, my senses have sharpened. I can read minds when I have the strength. Because he hasn't done anything to me today, I'm just strong enough to read you." She sighed, pressing against him, and whimpering in pain.

He held her tightly, kissing her straggly, lank hair. He could feel her tears against him, and the ones that were running down his cheeks. She cried for what seemed like hours, but in reality Jace had no perception of time. He couldn't tell if it was night or day, only that the guard by the cell seemed to change after a set period of time- he guessed an hour.

"Two." Clary muttered, and pressed her bruised lips to his, tasting the dried blood there.

* * *

Alyssa woke in a clean, sterile room. There were shelves, with needles and bandages, and the unmistakable twang of blood in the air. She sat up, and glanced around some more, only to reach the steely, cruel glare of a golden and green girl.

"So, sleeping beauty finally awakes. Come on, I have a job to do and orders from the acting boss. So move your waste of my time, worthless butt, and follow me." The girl sneered, leaping from her perch. Alyssa straight away disliked her as she followed her through twisting corridors to a open, airy greenhouse. "Stay here." She instructed, and disappeared.

She reappeared with two short poles shoved through her belt. "Move."

They eventually came to the library, and she pushed Alyssa inside, slamming the doors shut behind her. Sitting behind a grand desk was a woman with thick dark hair, pulled up tightly into a severe ponytail. Her head jerked up, and the figure standing behind her shoulder stiffened.

"For angel's sake Nicki, calm down." The woman said to him, but he remained stiff, staring straight at Alyssa. "Hello Alyssa, I'm Isabelle, and this is Nicki. Why don't you come and sit?" she gestured to a chair propped in front of the desk. Alyssa just stared at it. Isabelle sighed. Another woman suddenly appeared, straight out of thin air, to stand next to Alyssa.

"You called?" she said, flicking her hair off her face. Then she turned to see Alyssa. "Well I'll be damned. Alyssa Herondale- back with the land of the living. Where did you pick her up Izzy?"

"Ask Simon. He carried her over the threshold unconscious."

* * *

When Jace woke up, Clary was gone. When he'd fallen asleep, she'd been curled into his side, and now all he could feel was the cold air where her presence was missing. He found her curled in a tight ball at the furthest end of the cell, her back pressed against the wall, singing something under her breath.

Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside  
Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without  
Lithium, I wanna stay in love with my sorrow  
Oh, but God I wanna let it go

Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone  
Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show  
Never wanted it to be so cold  
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me

I can't hold on to me  
Wonder what's wrong with me?

Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside  
Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without  
Lithium, I wanna stay in love with my sorrow

Don't wanna let it lay me down this time  
Drown my will to fly  
Here in the darkness I know myself  
Can't break free until I let it go, let me go

Darling, I forgive you after all  
Anything is better than to be alone  
And in the end I guess I had to fall  
Always find my place among the ashes

I can't hold on to me  
Wonder what's wrong with me?

Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside  
Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without  
Lithium, stay in love with mmm  
I'm gonna let it go

**Ta da!**

**I tell you, this chapter took ages, and I've been to france, which didn't help. And I have my own personal project, The Secrets of Dreams.**

**Bow Wow!**

**Vikki ;)~**


	10. This Life of Scars and Killing

**Disclaimer: I am not Cassandra Clare. I do however, own Ciara and Alyssa. That's just a plus.**

**Btw, I'm back at school now, so updates will sadly only come after homework. And I have my own personal project and another fanfic story on the go, all of which demand my time. So although the process is slow, I don't want to spurt out a speed written piece that has hundreds of mistakes and no thought put into it. So here we go.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter songs**

**Hanging by a Moment- Lifehouse  
Eclipse (all yours)-Metric  
and many others!**

_Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside_  
_Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without_  
_Lithium, I wanna stay in love with my sorrow_  
_Oh, but God I wanna let it go _

_Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone_  
_Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show_  
_Never wanted it to be so cold_  
_Just didn't drink enough to say you love me_

_I can't hold on to me_  
_Wonder what's wrong with me?_

_Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside_  
_Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without_  
_Lithium, I wanna stay in love with my sorrow_

_Don't wanna let it lay me down this time_  
_Drown my will to fly_  
_Here in the darkness I know myself_  
_Can't break free until I let it go, let me go_

_Darling, I forgive you after all_  
_Anything is better than to be alone_  
_And in the end I guess I had to fall_  
_Always find my place among the ashes_

_I can't hold on to me_  
_Wonder what's wrong with me?_

_Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside_  
_Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without_  
_Lithium, stay in love with mmm_  
_I'm gonna let it go_

Clary's voice had haunted his dreams, but never had he heard her sing like this. It was almost as if she had experienced the song in some way, fallen from the heavens she had once commanded. He crawled over to her, and she slumped against him, crying out, but Jace didn't see any tears. He doubted she ever cried now.

"I couldn't stop it, I..." she trailed off, burying her head into Jace's side.

Down there in that deep black hole, time seemed to stretch for eternity.

* * *

Ciara was thrashing on the bed wildly by the time Isabelle received the message she was having some kind of fit. Rick had managed somehow to secure her arms, but her feet were kicking and she was making terrible noises that chilled Isabelle to the bone.

Nicki grabbed her legs, after receiving a few kicks in the face. Isabelle shook her shoulders, but Ciara didn't respond. In fact, she seemed to get worse. Isabelle screamed at Simon to get Magnus, whilst Amber was told to deal with Alyssa, who was standing on the roof after running away from the library. Isabelle feared she was going to make a break for it, and then she would lose one of her last living links to Jace.

Magnus burst into the room, and slapped Ciara savagely across the face. Her eyes flew open, and they were terrified orbs of greeny blue. Her squirming ceased, and she looked around the room, scared, and she looked like a little girl. Completely lost.

She looked like Jace did when Maryse first brought him home, or Clary when Luke refused to have anything to do with her.

It settled in Isabelle's mind then, just who she was. A Morgenstern on her mother's side, and a Herondale on her fathers. Alyssa's twin sister. Ciara Elizabeth _Herondale._

Oh hell.

Isabelle decided to talk to her in the library.

Ciara kept her eyes fixed on the floor, not looking up to look at Isabelle as she paced up and down the length of the library, trying to think of something to say to the girl.

Ciara moved, walking over to one of the many shelves on the library walls. She pulled a thick, slightly dusty volume off and sat down with it by the fire, tracing her fingers across the surface, brushing her hair back over her shoulder to cover the back of her neck.

Isabelle peered over her shoulder, and found herself looking at a photo of Jace, all of nineteen years old, in his shadowhunting gear, playing the piano. The girl looked at it solemnly, and flipped the page to a photo Isabelle knew well.

Jace had never been happier than that day, with a smile that seemed to stretch to the heavens, all because of the tiny woman at his side. Clary's white dress was a stark contrast to his traditional black suit, and she was smiling too, her red hair spilling out from the top of her head as vibrant and passionate as the love they shared.

"He smiled sometimes, when I was younger, too small to really remember. We travelled, sometimes on our own, and sometimes with the Academy. And then, he just stopped. He didn't smile the way he used to, and we never went anywhere. It was around about then when he took her pictures down and put her things away. I didn't realise then that it meant he'd given up on finding her." She moved her fingers to her neck. Her voice sounded as if there were tears behind it, and Isabelle found herself sitting next to the girl. She took the album out of Ciara's hands, and flicked to her favourite photo.

"This was my husband, your father's older brother. He died a few years ago, but he always said there was more to Clary's disappearance than met the eye. He died trying to find out what really happened, but I never told Jace. Just as Jace never went to his funeral."Ciara looked, but not for long. "He said that it couldn't be a coincidence that the day Clary disappeared was the day Jonathon vanished underground. He was convinced that he had her, and ultimately it was his downfall." Isabelle shut the album as Ciara got to her feet and crossed the library to another row of shelves, skimming her fingers over the spines.

"I know it's here..." she muttered, finally selecting a volume at random and opening it, grinning in delight. From within the pages she produced a thin sheet of paper, with ornate writing on that Isabelle recognised as Clary's."y rhai sy'n cael eu colli fydd ar gael, a gyda geiriau hyn atseinio, bydd eu heneidiau dychwelyd i mi." She spoke softly.

"what in the Angel's name does that mean?"

"those who are lost shall be found, and with these words resound, their souls will return to me. It's a finding spell that my father always said he hid in the library, and never got to use." She said, her voice flat and emotionless.

She ran again, and this time Isabelle let her.

* * *

Ciara sat down at Jace's old grand piano, her fingers resting lightly on the keys. Everything was going wrong, and her world was tumbling down around her, along with the lie she had lived behind for so many years. Determined she started playing, the first song she had ever wanted her father to teach her, one that she thought at the time fitted his personality, though now she knew that it was more metaphoric, mainly becuse her father still was a warrior. But not a Knight.

_I'll never be  
A knight in armor  
With a sword in hand,  
Or a kamikaze fighter;  
Don't count on me  
To storm the barricades  
And take a stand,  
Or hold my ground;  
You'll never see  
Any scars or wounds -  
I don't walk on coals,  
I won't walk on water:  
I am no prince,  
I am no saint,  
I am not anyone's wildest dream,  
But I can stand behind  
And be someone to fall back on._

_Some comedy -_  
_You're bruised and beaten down_  
_And I'm the one_  
_Who's looking for a favor._  
_Still, honestly,_  
_You don't believe me_  
_But the things I have_  
_Are the things you need._  
_You look at me_  
_Like I don't make sense,_  
_Like a waste of time,_  
_Like it serves no purpose -_  
_I am no prince,_  
_I am no saint,_  
_And if that's what you believe you need,_  
_You're wrong - you don't need much,_  
_You need someone to fall back on..._

_And I'll be that:_  
_I'll take your side._  
_If I'm the only one,_  
_I'm used to that._  
_I've been alone,_  
_I'd rather be_  
_The half of us,_  
_The least of you,_  
_The best of me._  
_And I will be_  
_Your prince,_  
_I'll be your saint,_  
_I will go crashing through fences_  
_In your name. I will, I swear -_  
_I'll be someone to fall back on!_  
_I'll be the one who waits,_  
_And for as long as you'll let me,_  
_I will be the one you need._  
_I'll be someone to fall back on:_  
_Your prince,_  
_Your saint,_  
_The one you believe you need_  
_I'll be - I'll be_  
_Someone to fall back on._

This Life of Scars and Killing, it had taken everything from her that she cared for, and left her with only one member of her family to fall back on.

She ran to her Uncle.

**Viola. Please review, cause I'm the kind of author that needs to be told what people think about their story otherwise I just think it's rubbish and don't do anything more.**

**Bow Wow!**

**Vikki;)~**


	11. I offer my Love for You

**Disclaimer: hmmm what should I claim I own today...**

**Nothing!**

**Btw, I'm swapping to first person for this chapter. Drop me a review or PM to tell me if you want the rest of the story to be in first, or so on. I can do certain characters in first person on request. And also, I've done some editing on the last chapter, because I didnt like the way it read very much. I thought it needed more description.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter Songs  
Good Riddance (the time of your life)-Green Day  
I See You (Theme from Avatar)-Leona Lewis**

The past haunts you, no matter how much you try to forget it. In the days leading up to our departure for Idris, I waited for some sign that would lead me to my father, but instead the dreams came, stronger than ever. They left me dripping in sweat, but I no longer thrashed and screamed they told me. In fact, if I hadn't have been breathing they said, they would have thought I was dead.

Why does the past haunt me- and I am sure it is the past, because nothing is ever right for our time. I feel as if I am reliving what happened to someone else, and it hurts, oh it hurts, and I feel as if at some point the end will come, and strike me down.

I fell asleep feeling as if nothing could touch me. I had just beaten all the remaining students in a contest and was sure of my own abilities.

_There was a young child crying- a baby, no more than a couple of months old, with her fists clutched to the side of a familiar red wolf. The wolf that had come to me first in my dreams, and flung itself at me, as if it's only goal was to see me dead._

_The baby squealed more, pulling on the wolf's thick fur. The animal twitched and snored, not moving._

"_**We are only the ghosts of ourselves, trapped within the walls of time, unable to die."**__ The voice belonged to a beautiful red-headed woman. The scene swam and changed, and now we were standing overlooking some city. The place looked like an abandoned construction site, but it felt... homely_

"_Who are you?" I asked, unbelieving._

"_**Who am I? I don't even know that anymore. The years seem to have taken away anything that made me, me. Time has corrupted my sight, and killed my faith in life.**__" She hung her head, and I watched as the world around us swirled with magic._

_And then, standing before me, bruised but not beaten, was my father. He looked straight past me, and I found myself standing outside a set of bars in some horrid prison, looking in on the shadow of the man who raised me. She stood beside me, looking in on a form huddled in a corner, like a rag doll, ripped so that all the stuffing had fallen out, leaving behind a shell._

_I realised then what we were facing._

_Jonathon was back._

* * *

How we escaped is still a mystery to me, seeing as the first thing our rescuers did was knock me unconscious, and steal off into the night. I woke in a clearing, somewhere in Brocelind. There were tents all around, and refugees, some which I recognised, and other, younger members that I had never seen before.

The Rays were here, or what remained of the order I came to know. With Daniel gone, there was only DeX and Gemma for me to know. There was a young man watching me out the corner of his eye, as if he knew me, but I didn't recognise him. He had a scar, running the full length of his face, angry and puckered. His eyes were a hard blue, and he had that... air of importance about him, and it was obvious that the others respected him.

Clary was crouched next to me, looking healthier than she did when I last saw her. There was the fading scar of a healing rune on her arm, and her red hair had been washed and brushed. She'd obviously eaten as well, because there was healthy colour in her cheeks, but it was her eyes that shocked me the most.

In our confinement, I had been unable to see the extent of the damage Jonathon had done. But now I saw clearly the milky film that covered her damaged eyes, like a protective screen, except that she couldn't see past it. She reached down and touched my cheek, comforting me. I'd forgotten she could read my mind.

The young man came over finally, his thick set stature appearing rather imposing. Clary got up to greet him, and they embraced like old friends. Clary helped me to my feet, and led me to the camp fire, where the man had settled to her other side. It felt wrong to me to see my wife interact with another man that way, but I didn't voice my opinion. I knew better.

And I knew she loved me still, because it was what she whispered in my ear as we lay together that night, free at last.

* * *

_I see you  
I see you  
Walking through a dream  
I see you  
My light in darkness breathing hope of new life  
Now I live through you and you through me  
Enchanting  
I pray in my heart that this dream never ends  
I see me through your eyes_

_Living through life flying high_  
_Your life shines the way into paradise_  
_So I offer my life as a sacrifice_  
_I live through your love_  
_You teach me how to see_

_All that's beautiful_  
_My senses touch your word I never pictured_  
_Now I give my hope to you_  
_I surrender_  
_I pray in my heart that this world never ends_  
_I see me through your eyes_  
_Living through life flying high_

_Your love shines the way into paradise_  
_So I offer my life_  
_I offer my love, for you_  
_When my heart was never open_  
_(and my spirit never free)_  
_To the world that you have shown me_  
_But my eyes could not division_  
_All the colours of love and of life ever more_

_Evermore_  
_(I see me through your eyes)_  
_I see me through your eyes_  
_(Living through life flying high)_  
_Flying high_

_Your love shines the way into paradise_  
_So I offer my life as a sacrifice_  
_And live through your love_  
_And live through your life_  
_I see you_  
_I see you_

That's the song my mother sang to me on the first of her freedom. I learnt to love dreaming, because I learnt things, like my mother's blindness, for instance. It was the first thing she told me, why she loved the song, because in the dreams we shared she could see, for the first time in years. She promised when we would be together one day, and I listened.

I heard things about my father, and how he was. She told me he was coping with the difficulties that he now faced, caring for her. Her blindness was something she was still getting to grips with, but she was beginning to expand her senses to the world around us.

I yearned for night, and hated day.

**Love it? Hate it? Want to cry?**

**Drop me a review!**

**Bow Wow**

**Vikki ;) ~**


	12. La Nuit Du Chasseur

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, it means a lot to me. I promise, this story is trying to get somewhere. In my brain.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter Songs**

**He lives in you: Tina Turner (from the Lion King)**

**Night of the Hunter- 30 Seconds to Mars**

When I was a small child, my father would come into my room and sing me to sleep. Often I asked him questions about why I didn't have a mummy, and he'd reply with my favourite song- an adaptation of one of the songs from the Lion King.

_Ingonyama nengw enamabala  
she lives in you  
Ingonyama nengw enamabala_

_Night_  
_and the spirit of life_  
_calling..._  
_Mamela_

_Ubukhosi bo khokho_  
_We ndodana ye sizwe sonke_

_Wait_  
_There's no mountain too great_  
_Hear the words and have faith oh oh_  
_Have faith_

_Hela hey mamela_

_she lives in you, she lives in me_  
_she watches over everything we see_  
_Into the water, into the truth_  
_In your reflection; she lives in you_

_Ingonyama nengw enamabala_  
_Ingonyama nengw enamabala_

_she lives in you, she lives in me_  
_she watches over everything we see_  
_Into the water, into the truth_  
_In your reflection; she lives in you_

_Night_  
_And the spirit of life_  
_Calling...mamela_

_she lives in you, she lives in me_  
_she watches over everything we see_  
_Into the water, into the truth_  
_In your reflection; she lives in you_

_Ingonyama nengw enamabala_  
_she lives in you_  
_Ingonyama nengw enamabala_

I used to love it when he sang that song to me, in the darkness of the night. It reminded me that my mother would always be a part of me, even if she wasn't around. As I grew older, I came to accept that I was only ever going to remember a few little things, like the sound of her laugh, and a flash of red hair.

My father I knew, remembered too much, and I felt sorry for him. If he had my memories, I thought perhaps he wouldn't miss her so much. He often used to talk about her, and how we were alike. Now, in knowing my mother in this strange detached way, I knew he wasn't lying. Though I didn't look like her, we were exactly alike. Though she always said I was just like my father. And strangely, so did Isabelle.

* * *

They wouldn't let me leave, to soak in the realisation that my whole life had been a lie. Instead, I was expected to re-learn everything, from semantics to weapons. Under the infallible glare of Amber, I did learn, slowly. She was kind when I needed it, but she was also cruel when I did things wrong. Especially when I couldn't control my powers.

I told her that she didn't understand that her powers were too different to mine. She would just stand there and tell me to try again. During the nights I spent not sleeping I hunted around the huge library, looking for anything I could read that would help me, I found more about the people I had come to call evil in my past life.

One night I was wandering around the vast library, when I discovered a young woman, reading a thick, fat book. She looked up when I arrived, and I realised it was the girl who had brought me to the library the first time, though I couldn't remember her name. In fact, she didn't think that the girl had ever told her.

"You're still here are you? I would have thought that they would have chucked you out by now." Her voice was limp though, and not as sarcastic as it had been the first time. I sensed that something was troubling her, but I didn't like her enough to ask her. After all, she had been a bitch to me the first time we met.

The book in front of her turned out to be some kind of reference book on dreams, but I didn't comment. She just kept staring at me, as if she expected me to do something. But I wasn't going to do anything for her. She didn't deserve it.

"Go away would you? You're distracting me."

"What's your problem with me? Because I don't think I've done anything that could possibly warrant you being so horrible to me." The girl looked up at me again.

"Just be being here you are annoying me. You're just what I don't like, people who just walk into a place and think they know everything. Well you don't. You don't understand anything about why I have a perfectly logical reason to hate you.

"I know who raised you, and I know where you came from. I know who your father was and I know why I hate him, even though he's my uncle. Without Jonathon, I would have a mother, and a father. But because of him all I have left is my memories and dreams. So excuse me if I hate what he created." She slammed the book shut, her anger echoing around the library.

"Ciara, play nice." said a voice from behind me.

* * *

My two granddaughters were arguing. I listened through the library doors, and I was surprised to find out that Ciara knew who raised Alyssa. After all, it was the best kept secret amongst the staff, other than the fact Isabelle had kept her mouth shut about knowing about Ciara's heritage. Except of course to me, but I already knew.

But her anger was so... misguided. She was punishing Alyssa because her uncle had taken away her childhood, her mother, and her father, to an extent. For Jace hadn't been the same without Clary. He had been the shadow of the man she loved, and I knew as much from his letters, the letters that he sent to me. I was the only one besides Nicki who knew about Ciara, and I used to pour over the letters, savouring every mention of my granddaughter.

And Jace of course, wrote most of the letter about her. I regretted not being able to see the tiny baby I remembered grow up into the strong young woman who was now fighting for justice, but when I heard her say why she hated Alyssa, I knew I had to put a stop to it.

"Ciara, play nice." I said, shutting the library door behind me with a click.

Ciara glared at me, and Alyssa spun, giving me the first chance to look at my other granddaughter as she was now.

What I saw was the spitting image of my daughter at that age; accept with Jace's brilliant tawny eyes. Her red hair hung defiantly from her head, and everything about her was Nephilim.

"Who are you?" she demanded, her hands flying to her hips, revealing a tiny knife hidden under her shirt.

"My name is Jocelyn Graymark, Ciara's grandmother. Please excuse her behaviour, she's just tired." Ciara glared at me.

"I highly doubt that." Was all Alyssa said, and with that she stalked off.

* * *

If there was any way to describe the way Alyssa was in class, it was to say that she was like a mini Clary when it came to stubbornness. If she didn't want to do something, she didn't do it, and no amount of persuading could change that fact.

I was running out of ways to challenge Alyssa- she was too good for all the partners I felt it was safe to give her. So one day, whilst I was talking to Nicki, he casually let it slip that Alyssa and Ciara didn't get along, and that he would be interested to see who won a fight between the two of them.

And that is why the two girls were facing each other down, favourite weapons in hand, looking like they wanted to kill each other. Jocelyn surprised me by appearing with Ciara, but I didn't comment. I suspected the woman just wanted to see how her granddaughter did against the girl trained by her son in law.

I found my favourite fighting track and queued it up, but Ciara immediately came over and selected one of her own.

_(La nuit du chasseur)_

I was born of the womb of a poisonous man  
Beaten and broken and chased from the land  
But I rise up above it, high up above it and see  
I was hung from a tree made of tongues of the weak  
The branches, the bones of the liars and thieves  
Rise up above it, high up above and see

The girls began circling, and I couldn't help but think why Ciara had chosen the song. It described her hatred for where she came from, I supposed. Also perhaps, her hatred for the way people treated her differently because she was what they labelled as devil's spawn.

_Pray to your god, open your heart  
Whatever you do, don't be afraid of the dark  
Cover your eyes, the devil's inside  
One night of the hunter  
One day I will get revenge  
One night to remember  
One day it'll all just end _

Alyssa made the first move, going straight for Ciara's open guard. Before I could blink, Ciara deftly blocked the manoeuvre with her staffs as the blades shot out. She began twirling them, forcing Alyssa back. Alyssa ducked and weaved, evading being caught by the blades, but Ciara had anticipated the move and flipped, using her momentum to kick Alyssa hard enough to send her sprawling.

_(Un, deux, trois, cinq)  
Blessed by a bitch from a bastard seed  
Pleasure to meet you but better to bleed  
Rise, I will rise, I will rise  
Skinned her alive, ripped her apart  
Scattered her ashes, buried her heart  
Rise up above it, high up above and see _

I remembered Nicki once telling me that Ciara had killed a woman, a half demon thing created by Jonathon. She'd killed the woman without mercy, despite the fact that the woman hadn't done anything wrong. She was one of Jonathon's experiments that had gone wrong.

_Pray to your god, open your heart  
Whatever you do, don't be afraid of the dark  
Cover your eyes, the devil's inside  
One night of the hunter  
One day I will get revenge  
One night to remember  
One day it'll all just end _

Ciara had never been afraid of the dark, Nicki had said, she knew no fear because she had brought up to believe fear was weakness. She hadn't been afraid, not even when she was a young girl first faced with life at the academy. But she always wanted revenge on Jonathon, and she was determined to get it.

_Honest to God I'll break your heart  
Tear you to pieces and rip you apart  
Honest to God I'll break your heart  
Tear you to pieces and rip you apart  
Honest to God I'll break your heart  
Tear you to pieces and rip you apart  
Honest to God I'll break your heart  
Tear you to pieces and rip you apart_

_One night of the hunter_  
_One day I will get revenge_  
_One night to remember_  
_One day it'll all just end_

Alyssa cried out as Ciara clipped her round the head with the solid midsection of one of her staffs, and fell to the floor. But she whipped back to her feet and swept Ciara's legs away, fisting her hair and stomping on her hands to make her release her weapons.

But Ciara suddenly spun, threw Alyssa off and leapt to her feet, her staffs back in hand. Alyssa, annoyed, flicked her wrist, a move I knew too well.

The magical wave hit Ciara, but instead of moving her, it just absorbed inside of her body, causing a rune on the back of her hand to glow a brilliant white. Ciara didn't even glance at it, but instead smiled wryly and flicked her hand in the same manner, effectively returning the favour.

I had never seen anything like it, and judging by the stunned look from Nicki, he hadn't either.

Alyssa flew back into the training room wall, but landed easily on her feet. It was good to know she had inherited that talent from her father. Ciara looked at her with a fierce annoyance glinting in her eyes, and stuffed her staffs through her belt.

Alyssa ran at her, and they grappled, hand to hand, clawing fistfuls of each other's hair, snarling and spitting in a way that was most certainly not very feminine.

And then it was all over.

All because I saw something that I didn't expect to see, and called the fight off.

**Love, hate, or just want to ask a question? Please review.**

**The more reviews I get, the higher this stroy gets ranked in my priority list. So if you want this story to be number 1, I need between 10 and 15 reviews. I don't care even if it is just :) or :(**

**I don't think that's too much, do you?**

**Thanks**

**Bow Wow!**

**Vikki ;)~**


	13. Stolen Moments

**Disclaimer: life without the Mortal Instruments is me. I don't own them.**

**Enjoy and please read this little note! It's really important if you want an update as soon as possible!**

**Okay, so you guys only gave me a few more reviews, and didn't reach the 10-15 bracket, but I have no inspiration for my other stories at this precise moment, so She Lives in You gets the update. But if you want it to get the priority update, I'm afraid that you will just have to try and hit a new target...**

**12-15 reviews!**

**I'm sorry, and I am not review centred, but if I don't have a reason to go on (you guys telling me I have to) I let homework get in the way. So please review!**

My story is the one no one ever has time to listen to. Everything is about my sister- I simply fade into the paintwork as the baby in the family. My nieces were only a two years younger than me, my brother in law is an ass and has destroyed my life, and I never get any credit for what I do.

No one ever listens to me. I'm just the baby sister of a legend to them- the baby sister of the Clave's most modern Martyr.

Well not today. Today is my day, the day I save the world.

No one knows me. They don't understand just what I can do. They don't care anymore. I'm just the spare part.

My name is Cassidy Eleanor Garroway.

My name is Cassidy Rosfi.

My name is Espiritus.

I am no one's baby sister. I am no one's child. I am no one's little girl. I not part of the paintwork.

I lead the most feared werewolf faction. With the Terra's gone, I'm free to be the most dangerous there is. They were the only competition, and they failed in their duty.

We will end it. The war, the fighting, the destruction. Our feelers stretch further than you could imagine. We are the only cure to a life of pain and suffering.

We will win.

Or, we will die trying.

* * *

I could feel Jace watching me- and I knew he didn't completely trust our company. Little did he know that his imprisonment led to our freedom. Mattie had been watching and protecting my family for years, and he was the one who followed Jace's kidnappers to where we were held. He was the one who risked his life to save ours, but that alone doesn't earn him Jace's trust.

It wouldn't have earned mine either, but over the years I have known Mattie, I have come to the conclusion that he is one of my strongest allies.

I have known him since before I married, when he was still only a child, a puppy to the youthful young dog. I saw him grow for a short while, and now... it shocks me to see him as a man.

I could feel Jace coming towards me. It was strange to have such clear senses- I could feel everyone around me- and that painted the picture I needed to see. Without my sight I could see clearer than anyone who has eyes, and that fact in itself is disconcerting.

My husband settled next to me, his lips touching my hair. It filled me with harsh, horrid pain to know that I would never see those beautiful golden orbs that I fell in love with again. I wished at that moment that all the people surrounding us weren't there, that I could make up for lost time with Jace.

I missed his touch, the way he could make the world disappear, the way everything was about us- no one else existed, no wars, no pain, no suffering. One of my favourite songs has a recurring line- life begins with love.

And through our love, Jace and I were gifted our daughters because of our love... and sex. Obviously.

And it was that I missed- that chance to be husband and wife, that chance to have those little moments to ourselves, little moments that became pivotal moments in our lives.

I loved my husband, and I wanted him. I had waited too long, and I needed him.

But then was not the time for hormones and lust.

Then was the time for war.

* * *

My pack was waiting for me when I arrived- with news.

"You'll want to hear this Espiritus. The Terra's are back."

* * *

The wolves before me were only a fraction of what I cherished. I found my heart swelling with pain, burning pain. Despite blindness I streaked across the camp, and into my husband's arms, my lips seeking his in a passion I had not felt in years.

My pain was the kindling, but Jace was the inferno. It was everything my crystal clear memory provided, and more. He was my own angel, my saviour, and without standing at my side I wouldn't have had the strength to reform what remained of my pack.

Two of them remained.

Christi and Mattie- all the others had been murdered. Even little baby Johnny. Rig, Emerald, my friends. I felt the tears welling in my blind eyes, and turned into Jace. He took my role, and told them that through determination we would destroy the sole creature responsible for all the pain and suffering they had endured. I was soon encased in a hug from my number two and best friend, still wrapped in Jace's strong, warm arms. Mattie hung back, and waited for them to release me, before wrapping me in a bear hug the way only a friend could.

The group that he led now looked to me, leader of the feared and respected Terra's for leadership, and I was afraid to step into that role. But I knew in my heart that with Mattie, Christi and always Jace at my side I could do it- to lead them to the victory they deserved.

But first, I needed Ciara and Alyssa.

* * *

The Terra's couldn't be back. It was impossible. All the official reports said that every one of them was found dead, except for my sister and her children. But everyone knew she was dead. It wasn't discussed, because when you admit to believing something, that is when you give up the last hint of hope.

I never hoped for my sister. I was only a toddler, but now I just wish that her afterlife would stop ruining my life. I snapped my fingers at my second, who appeared dutifully with my coffee, and scarpered off again.

I knew what I needed to do to win.

I needed to get into the hierarchy of the Clave, and get my ideas into the council. It was the only way that we would be able to arrange our own campaign the way we wanted.

* * *

I could feel Jace's rhythmic breathing against me as I lay curled against his bare chest. I could feel his muscles coiled in the arm that lay protectively around me, and I could hear him taking in each individual breath. It was a lullaby that lured me towards Ciara, but I couldn't sleep.

There were sounds in the camp around us- night watchman pacing, sharpening their weapons- animals going about their nocturnal activities. Jace slept obliviously, but he could sleep through the war as long as I stayed where I was.

And to be frank, I didn't want to move. I was quite content lying with Jace, with the blanket tucked around us, keeping out the freezing cold of the night.

A song came to my head- one that seemed appropriate for the situation we were in. For this was war.

_A warning to the people, the good and the evil  
This is war  
To the soldier, the civilian, the martyr, the victim  
This is war_

_It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie_  
_The moment to live and the moment to die_  
_The moment to fight, the moment to fight_  
_To fight, to fight, to fight_

_To the right, to the left_  
_We will fight to the death_  
_To the edge of the earth_  
_It's a brave new world from the last to the first_

_To the right, to the left_  
_We will fight to the death_  
_To the edge of the earth_  
_It's a brave new world, it's a brave new world_

_A warning to the prophet, the liar, the honest_  
_This is war_  
_Oh, to the leader, the pariah, the victim, the messiah_  
_This is war_

_It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie_  
_The moment to live and the moment to die_  
_The moment to fight, the moment to fight_  
_To fight, to fight, to fight_

_To the right, to the left_  
_We will fight to the death_  
_To the edge of the earth_  
_It's a brave new world from the last to the first_

_To the right, to the left_  
_We will fight to the death_  
_To the edge of the earth_  
_It's a brave new world, it's a brave new world_  
_It's a brave new world_

_I do believe in the light_  
_Raise your hands up to the sky_  
_The fight is done, the war is won_  
_Lift your hands toward the sun_

_Toward the sun_  
_(It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie)_  
_(The moment to live and the moment to die)_  
_Toward the sun_  
_(It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie)_  
_(The moment to live and the moment to die)_  
_Toward the sun_  
_(The moment to fight, the moment to fight)_  
_(To fight, to fight, to fight)_  
_The war is won_

_To the right, to the left_  
_We will fight to the death_  
_To the edge of the earth_  
_It's a brave new world from the last to the first_

_To the right, to the left_  
_We will fight to the death_  
_To the edge of the earth_  
_It's a brave new world, it's a brave new world_  
_It's a brave new world_

_A brave new world_  
_The war is won_  
_The war is won_  
_A brave new world_

Jace moved beside me, his hand reaching over and tilting my chin up so that he could kiss me.

* * *

_It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie  
The moment to live and the moment to die  
The moment to fight, the moment to fight  
To fight, to fight, to fight  
_

It's the moment I will lead my pack to victory against my brother.

As of now, we are at war.

**Remember Reviews=Vikki putting updates first.**

**No Reviews=Homework (ugh)**

**Please save me!**

**Bow Wow!**

**Vikki ;)~**


	14. Pools of Gold

**Okay, so I said I wasn't going to be updating anytime soon, but I feel that the cliff hanger I left behind was a bit cruel, and that got some early Saturday morning creative juices flowing. So here is an update, but there isn't going to be another one, sadly, until I get 12 reviews telling me to update. Sorry, but as I said, I can't continue a story if the stats look rubbish. It's just not worth the arguments about my work. Sorryyyyyyyyyy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nada.**

**Enjoy!**

"What the hell Amber!" Nicki tried desperately to yank his arm out of my iron grasp, but I wasn't letting him go. Not yet anyway.

"I think it should be me who says what the hell brother in law. Why did my brother lie to me?"

"Jace can't lie..." I wrapped my hand around his throat, pushing his back into the wall.

"And you can't lie convincingly. Tell me the truth Nicki or I swear to the Angel I will kill you." I snarled, and he squirmed under my grasp.

"Ciara! Go!" he cried, and I looked over my shoulder to see the girl standing in the doorway, her eyes focused very definitely on me. The girl had never really liked me, and right now she looked as if she wanted to kill me, which was quite possibly true.

"Leave him alone Amber. He hasn't done anything wrong." It was her voice, but her words sounded as if they were coming from another source. "I mean it Amber, let Nicki go. You don't want to hurt him, and you know it."

I let Nicki go, and he sank to the floor, gasping for breath. I advanced on the girl, who simply looked at me with her head cocked to one side.

"You haven't changed a bit have you? Always playing with fire. It'll do you no good. This is war now." And with that, Ciara's eyes rolled back in her head, and she collapsed to the ground, unconscious.

"She's a channel." Nicki said from the floor. "Give her a minute to wake up, and I'll tell you everything."

* * *

"I talk to Ciara sometimes." Clary said to me, completely out of the blue, when we were lying in bed one night. We'd been there little over a month, and in that time, I began to find out what I had missed over the years she had been imprisoned.

"How?" I asked, propping myself up on one elbow so that I could look down at her.

"Sleep. She channels, and I can tap into it with my projecting ability. We talk in her dreams, but it's real. And also, your sister wants to kill my brother." She said it in a matter of fact voice, but I knew my wife too well.

"What has Nicki done now?" I asked, pulling her even closer to my body. She shuddered and let out a low whimper, burying her head into my chest. Her voice was muffled, but I heard her.

"Nothing. You know what your sister's like."

"It's not fair. When did our live become so complicated?"

"Before we even were born. Why us Jace? Why our lives?" Clary said, and she sounded so lost that I couldn't help but press my lips to hers, effectively ending all conversation.

* * *

Ciara sprang to her feet, shook her head and looked a little dazed- like someone who had just woken up after sleep walking into a completely different room. Her eyes fixed on me, sharp and precise. Now I knew what I was looking at, I couldn't help but to compare her to my brother. And I was shocked to see just how similar they were.

But she was so like her mother- which was strange because she had her father's attitude if you got on her wrong side. Nicki stayed true to his word, and told her to please not kill him. I wondered why at first, until he admitted that Ciara was indeed Jace's daughter, and Alyssa's twin sister.

And Ciara flipped, the way her father could blow things completely out of proportion and try and kill you for no particular reason.

It was then that Isabelle burst into the room.

_We were at war._

_

* * *

_

Idris is a different place when it is preparing for war. It turns from a sunny, protected place, to one where people gather in Alicante for meetings discussing why yet again the students (those of us under 18) shouldn't be allowed to fight.

It was during the days that we spent in Alicante with our families that Rick became my rock. In all the heartache (and the feuds with my newly found sister) I was becoming more and more emotionally unstable, with no sign of repair.

It was after one particular fight with my sister that he really became my rock.

"_This isn't my war! It's yours! How can you expect me to follow you everywhere and fight for you? I'm not Nephilim, I'm just Alyssa! Just leave me alone Ciara!"_

"_Of course it's your war! You're a Herondale! You're the only one who can tell us what our Uncle is planning!"_

"_I'm not a Herondale. I'm just Alyssa. I've never met my parents! I can't do this! I hate you Ciara, I hate the clave and I don't want to be here! I'm human! Human!"_

_My sister ran out the door, crying. Our relationship was strained, but after Nicki and Amber (both being blood relatives) and of course Jocelyn sat us down and talked to us, and explained that neither of my parents found out about their siblings (except for Jonathon, obviously) until they were our age (Mum) or older (Dad, obviously) things became better. We began to talk to each other, train together. But we still didn't get along._

_After Alyssa ran out, I could hear Nicki calling to her, trying to get her to calm down. The door creaked softly open, and there was Rick, and I couldn't help but fling my arms around him and kiss him._

I knew full well I wasn't allowed out the city, but I snuck out, armed of course, and stole a horse from the stables. No one saw as I thundered into the night, just wanting to escape talk of war, just for a few hours. When I slept now, I didn't see my mother anymore- instead there was nothing but darkness.

There was word in the Clave that dangerous faction had been destroyed, and I feared that her non communication was because she was not longer able to talk to me. My other aunt, my mother's half sister, Cassidy, told me that I was only dreaming, making my mother real because I didn't want to accept that I was an orphan.

And I began to believe her. I knew she hated my father for some unknown reason, but that didn't stop her words hitting home. My channelling gift grew and grew, becoming stronger and easier to use under Ambers guidance, but I no longer channelled things like other people's injuries or thoughts. It was if that part of my brain was shielded, and I wondered if what I had been channelling was my own emotions and beliefs.

Brocelind came at me too quickly, and I charged inside its depths, angry and wild. I didn't hear what struck me down, but I remember the pain as it radiated through my skull, before I blacked out.

_I will rise now  
And go about the city  
In the street's  
Broadways I seek  
Him whom my soul loveth_

Went over the sea  
What did I find?  
A thousand crystal towers  
A hundred emerald cities  
And the hand of the watchman  
In the night sky  
Points to my beloved  
A knight in crystal armour

And I tried to hold him  
I tried for the creed  
I'll make a suit of colours  
To stop the blinding mirrors  
Sew a cape of red and gold  
Stifle up the beam (?)  
With the perfect armour  
With a perfect dream

To be made of glass  
When two suns are shining  
The battle becomes blinding  
To be made of glass  
But we ride tonight, tonight, tonight, we ride

And with two suns spinning  
At two different speeds  
Was born a hot, white diamond  
Burning through the rainbow  
Flames fell into orbit  
To hold eternally  
Two heavenly spirits  
That just wouldn't seem

To be made of glass  
When two suns are shining  
The battle becomes blinding  
To be made of glass  
But we ride tonight, tonight, tonight, we ride

Hey, oh  
Hey oh oh oh  
Hey, oh  
Hey oh oh oh  
Hey, oh  
Hey oh oh oh

I floated, and as I floated, I heard my mother's voice, singing to me.

I truly thought that it was the end, and for a single moment, I was happy. I didn't care that I was leaving Rick behind alone, I didn't care that I'd left the war without me.

Then I burned, and crashed down to reality with so much force that I thought I was going to break into a million pieces on impact. When my eyes snapped open, I was rewarded with pools of gold.

My father.

**Please, please (begging on hands and knees) review...**

**Cause I love all reviewers, I really do.**

**So take it to twelve? Then you get more Clace (because they are just so cute)**

**Bow Wow**

**Vikki ;)~**


	15. Things are Looking UP, finally!

**Disclaimer: you guys know the drill by now. Song lyrics belong to Evanescence**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter Songs  
**_**Field of Innocence-Evanescence  
Peace-Depeche Mode  
The Fear-Lily Allen  
Womanizer-Britney Spears**_

Jace grinned the minute Ciara opened her eyes- I was slowly regaining my projection power, and with it came functioning eyes, but the moments were precarious. I was still struggling with it, as I had when I first discovered it, but hour by hour it was creeping back, and combined with my heightened senses, it made me... respected around the camp. Especially by those who had known me so long.

Ciara wrapped her father in a tight hug, a smile spreading across her lips, and a happy laugh escaping her throat. She looked past his ear to see me, hiding in the half shadow of a tree, the perfect version of myself she knew from her dreams.

"Mum..." the word slid off her tongue, and I nodded my head in acknowledgment, before turning and leaving her to her reunion with her father. Mattie was lounging against a sickly looking spruce, waiting patiently for me.

"It's time." He said.

"Not yet Toe. She needs training."

"No one's called me that in years." He commented, surprised.

"The same as no one's called me Scars." I said sadly.

* * *

No one has ever asked for my side of the story- they just assumed that Jonathon had brainwashed me into being on his side. And to be honest, I was happy to let the, to save myself from the truth that turned me from the angel I was as a young child, to the demon I grew up into.

_I still remember the world  
from the eyes of a child  
slowly those feelings  
were clouded by what I know now_

Where has my heart gone?  
An uneven trade for the real world  
Oh I, I want to go back to  
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

I still remember the sun  
Always warm on my back  
Somehow, it seems colder now

Where has my heart gone?  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
Oh I, I want to go back to  
Believing in everything

[Latin hymn:]  
Iesu, Rex admirabilis  
et triumphator nobilis,  
dulcedo ineffabilis,  
totus desiderabilis.

[Translation:]  
O Jesus, King most wonderful  
the conqueror renowned  
the sweetness most ineffable,  
entirely desirable.

[Man:]  
"As the years pass by  
before my face,  
as wars rage before me,  
finding myself  
in these last days of existence,  
this parasite inside me,  
I forced it out.  
In the darkness of the storm  
Lies an evil,  
But it's me."

Where has my heart gone?  
An uneven trade for the real world  
Oh I, I want to go back to  
Believing in everything

Oh where, where has my heart gone  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger  
Oh I, I want to go back to  
Believing in everything

I still remember.

Oh how I wished I could go back to the way I had lived before- before I knew everything about the world I came from, before I was the one, before I was one of a pair of children that were prophesised to save or destroy the Clave.

Even though my life was far from perfect, I was stronger than anyone here, I could take more pain, ran farther, faster, I spoke more languages, I knew more. But still they treated me like someone who had born evil.

As soon as I could walk, Jonathon started training me to be his weapon, and through that he turned me from the angel child I was to a hard, ruthless killer. He beat me so hard that my bones were at the point of breaking if I got things wrong, and by the time I was ten, I was perfectly obedient. And that was how he converted me.

That's how he made me a monster.

I can't let go of what he made me, it's been too long.

Drazi wasn't surprised to see me when I approached him, teeth gritted, anger set. How I escaped the city was simple- the wards let me in and out, and no one was watching the north gate. He bowed slyly as I came towards him, dressed in black Shadowhunter gear (specially disguised not to look like gear, of course).

He held a hand out to me, and I took it, smiling as he pulled me closer. Or course my uncle would despise any thought of his niece and his favourite demon being involved romantically, but I didn't care.

I pressed my lips to Drazi's, and drove my dagger home.

"You are no longer useful to the cause." I said, and walked towards my uncle, who was watching from the shadows, a familiar smirk on his face.

* * *

Dad found us horses, and we went for a ride together, like we used to when we visited Idris when I was younger. He was a changed man, full of grins and smiles, and proper _laughs_. I had never ever heard my father laugh like he did. I was ecstatic to see him, safe, healthy and happy.

Whatever my mother had done to him, I just wanted to hug her. As our horses plunged through the forest, I told him everything that had happened since he had disappeared, and in return he told me everything I needed to know about the rebel movement.

Later, we returned to the camp to find everyone gathered around a brilliant campfire. Shocked, I realised I recognised a few faces –Simon, Althea, Chelsea, all people from my life. The boy that brought my sister to me, the girl my father taught and the werewolf that saved my life.

My mother was sitting next to Chelsea, with an empty gap next to her. She beckoned us over, sensing us, obviously, and Dad led me over and sat down next to her, putting his arm around my shoulder, and the other around her waist, placing a tender kiss on her head. To see my parents like this made me feel all gooey, and for the first time in my life I felt that everything was going to be perfect.

One of the rebels produced a CD player and a disk, and the whole group decided to gang up on Mum to make her sing. Laughing, she complied, elbowing Dad in the ribs for some unknown reason. She got to her feet, and pulled Dad up with her, grinning wildly. She put her hand on his chest, and nodded towards the man with the CD player.

The music began, and I recognised the song from when Nikki played it at Dad's birthday party a few years ago- in honour of his sister he claimed- while Chelsea feel about laughing and Dad threw a beer bottle at him, not seeing the joke.

_Superstar, where you from, how's it going?  
I know you, gotta clue whatcha doing  
You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here  
But I know what you are, what you are, baby_

Look at you, getting more than just a re-up  
Baby you, got all the puppets with their strings up  
Faking like a good one, but I call 'em like I see 'em  
I know what you are, what you are, baby

Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer,  
Oh womanizer, oh you're a womanizer, baby  
You you you are, you you you are  
Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer (womanizer)

Boy don't try to front  
I (I) know just (just) what you are-are-are  
Boy don't try to front  
I (I) know just (just) what you are-are-are

(You) You got me going  
(You) You're oh so charming  
(You) But I can't do it  
(You) You womanizer

Boy don't try to front  
I (I) know just (just) what you are-are-are  
Boy don't try to front  
I (I) know just (just) what you are-are-are

(You) You say I'm crazy  
(You) I got your crazy  
(You) You're nothing but a  
(You) Womanizer

Daddy-o, you've got the swagger of a champion  
Too bad for you, you just can't find the right companion  
I guess when you have one too many, makes it hard, it could be easy  
Who you are, that's just who you are, baby

Lollipop, you must mistake you're a sucker  
To think that I, would be a victim, not another  
Say it, play how you want it  
But no way I'm never gonna fall for you, never you, baby

Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer,  
Oh womanizer, oh you're a womanizer, baby  
You you you are, you you you are  
Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer (womanizer)

Boy don't try to front  
I (I) know just (just) what you are-are-are  
Boy don't try to front  
I (I) know just (just) what you are-are-are

(You) You got me going  
(You) You're oh so charming  
(You) But I can't do it  
(You) You womanizer

Boy don't try to front  
I (I) know just (just) what you are-are-are  
Boy don't try to front  
I (I) know just (just) what you are-are-are

(You) You say I'm crazy  
(You) I got your crazy  
(You) You're nothing but a  
(You) Womanizer

Maybe if we both lived in a different world (womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer)  
Yeah  
It would be all good and maybe I could be your girl  
But I can't 'cause we don't, you

Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer,  
Oh womanizer, oh you're a womanizer, baby  
You you you are, you you you are  
Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer (womanizer)

Boy don't try to front  
I (I) know just (just) what you are-are-are  
Boy don't try to front  
I (I) know just (just) what you are-are-are

(You) You got me going  
(You) You're oh so charming  
(You) But I can't do it  
(You) You womanizer

Boy don't try to front  
I (I) know just (just) what you are-are-are  
Boy don't try to front  
I (I) know just (just) what you are-are-are

(You) You say I'm crazy  
(You) I got your crazy  
(You) You're nothing but a  
(You) Womanizer

Boy don't try to front  
I (I) know just (just) what you are-are-are  
Boy don't try to front  
I (I) know just (just) what you are-are-are

Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer,  
Oh womanizer, oh you're a womanizer, baby

"That one's for you Herondale." She said to Dad, and everyone laughed.

Even stuck in a clearing in the middle of a forest as a rebel movement, life was... good.

Things were looking up, finally.

**Okay, I have some stuff to go through.  
****First, Bravo on reaching 12 reviews! I knew you guys could do it! Keep it up!**

**So, thanks to:  
Loving Ya  
JammersFlood  
AriaXOXO  
Figureskater 1589  
Kayley  
Hannah  
Mortal  
listencanyouhearit  
MICJ4ever**

**Also, the Mortal Instruments FanFiction Awards 2010 are excepting nominees, I thought I'd say, so go ahead and vote for your fave stories. I know I'm going to (sometime this ½ term)**

**And finally, after all that, to clear up some stuff.**

**Yes, Clary is blind. And I know I make it sound like she can see. So here's the deal. You know she can read Jace's mind when she's strong right? Well that's an extension of her sensing powers, which she uses as her eyes. So she can't see, but she can sense.  
The twins:**

**Ciara was the one raised by Jace  
Alyssa was raised by Jonathon**

**Lucas was killed prior to this story beginning (well, they never found his body but everyone thinks he's dead-wink)**

**Wolves- two Terra's apart from Clary have made a come back. The rest are dead (crys).**

**Hope that cleared up some confusion!**

**Review! Plz...14?  
will update anyway, because I need to get his one finshed, because it is invading my brain every day (these voices really wont shut up!)**

**Bow Wow!**

**Vikki ;)~**


	16. Not THAT kind of buzz

**Disclaimer: ADD HERE!**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter Songs (because I'm that sad)**

_**Vox Populi- 30 seconds to Mars  
Escape-""  
Eclipse (All Yours)-Metric  
We weren't born to follow- Bon Jovi  
When We Were Beautiful-""  
I See You (Theme from Avatar)-Leona Lewis**_

**Finally done! Aiming to make this the longest chapter yet, btw, so plz (begging on knees again) review! 14? Is that a hard ask? By the way, there's gonna be a few lyrics in here, because that was the best way to convey the idea...**

_3 months later..._

It's strange how when in war, the streets are completely silent, even at midday. I was leading a small group out to Lake Lynn, with Cassidy of course, to check for activity. We suspected it was a hot spot for Jonathon, the place where his father was killed. Cassidy was convinced we should sweep the forest as well, as she was convinced that there was something terrible hiding there.

In every possibility, there is truth.

We led our small battalion and waited on the shores of the lake, mindful of the poisonous water. Cassidy scowled when I told her yet again I wasn't going to risk the forest. My son agreed with me, for once.

"Isabelle! We have to sweep the forest. Angel knows what could be hiding in there!" Cassidy complained.

"That's exactly why we can't. I'm not risking lives if I don't have to Cassidy. The inquisitor put me in charge and me only."

"Well, she made the wrong decision. After all, who was it that lost Alyssa? Oh wait the probationary leader of the Academy in Jace's absence. Though he probably would have done the same thing." Cassidy grumbled, but ignored her. It wasn't my fault Alyssa escaped; it was the incompetent fool that didn't guard the front door against her.

"Boss! Movement on the other side of the lake!"

The side where the forest was closest. Cassidy was right.

A horse, with one solitary rider stepped out, gingerly picking its way to the watery shores of the lake. The rider was male, that much I could tell from the distance, and he was armed- there was a sword strapped across his back. My heart panged- he looked so much like my Lucas, but I knew that he wasn't.

I debated with the possibility that we were looking straight at Jonathon, but then the music started, and it was all around us, perhaps projected by some magic that I didn't understand. Anyway, the music made my little team stop and stare, because it was just so unusual- none of them had heard music in months, let alone had time to listen to it.

_The world is cracked  
The sky is torn  
I'm hanging in  
you're holding on_

_We can't pretend_  
_That nothing's changed_  
_Living in the shadows_  
_Of the love we made_

Suddenly, a woman and a man stepped out of the cover of the forest, hoods covering their faces, and they joined in for the chorus, their voices mingling perfectly with the original mans.

_[Chorus]__  
Back when we were beautiful  
Before the world got small  
Before we knew it all  
Back when we were innocent  
I wonder where it went  
Let's go back and find it_

And then there were more, another man and woman, but they had their hoods down, but even so I couldn't recognise their faces. They joined in, chanting, their heads bowed.

_Sha-la-la, sha-la-la, hey  
Sha-la-la  
Sha-la-la, sha-la-la, hey  
Sha-la-la_

The last man to join the group took over the singing then, and something about his voice was familiar... but I couldn't place it.

_Some __dreams__ live  
Some will die  
But the you in me  
Is still alive  
Now am I blessed?_ (The woman who appeared with him joined in at this point)_  
Or am I cursed?  
Cause the way we are  
ain't the way we were  
_They had it perfectly worked out, when who was going to sing, and they all sang the chorus this time.

_[Chorus]__  
Back when we were beautiful  
Before the world got small  
Before we knew it all  
Back when we were innocent  
I wonder where it went  
Let's go back and find it__[Chorus]__  
Back when we were beautiful(Shalala)  
Before the world got small(Shalala)  
Before we knew it all(Shalala)  
Back when we were innocent(Shalala, Shalala hey Shalala)  
I wonder where it went(Shalala, Shalala hey Shalala)  
Let's go back and find it(Shalala, Shalala hey Shalala)_

_The world is cracked_  
_The sky is torn_  
_So much less_  
_Meant so much more_

_Back when we were beautiful(Shalala, Shalala hey Shalala)_  
_Back when we were beautiful(Shalala, Shalala hey Shalala)_  
_Back when we were beautiful(Shalala, Shalala hey Shalala)_  
_Back when we were beautiful(Shalala, Shalala hey Shalala)_

_More voices joined voices that belonged to faces I couldn't see. The _two who arrived last melted back into the forest, to join the rest that were still in hiding.

_(Shalala, Shalala hey Shalala)_

_(Shalala, Shalala hey Shalala)_

_(Shalala, Shalala hey Shalala)_

_(Shalala, Shalala hey Shalala)_

I glanced around me, and everyone I saw was staring, as if hypnotised. I looked across to Nicki, who was waiting on my far right, and he shook his head. They were- like me- shocked and astonished, but he hadn't tricked them into staring. I supposed the sight of a group of singing supposed enemies wasn't listed in the training manual.

The man on the horse suddenly started charging around the lake, perfectly in control of the animal. As he approached, I took in the scarred face, the lean body, and the ugly bite marks around his neck. I recognised the shape of the bites. The man was a werewolf, which explained very little, after all, the werewolves had all been called in to help with the war effort. His horses muscles bunched under its skin, and sprays of water crashed around it's hooves as it ploughed towards us, its mane cut into short tufts so that it didn't strike the rider in his face, its tail streaming out behind it.

The werewolf looked completely comfortable in the saddle, and he easily brought the beast to a halt in front of us, dipping his head politely.

Some of my boys pulled out weapons on him, but Nicki called for them to lower them, and hear the boy out.

"Am I looking at a ghost, or is there something going on I don't know about?" he asked, and the boy grinned, and looked back to where he came from.

_This is a call to arms; gather soldiers  
Time to go to war  
This is a battle song, brothers and sisters  
Time to go to war _

They came in procession, led by no one, led by everyone. There weren't many of them, but they were all singing, and the way they just, were, made them seem many in number.

A single voice broke through, and I recognised it immediately.

_Did you ever believe?  
Were you ever a dreamer?  
Ever imagine heart open and free?  
Did you ever deny?  
Were you ever a traitor?  
Ever in love with your bloodless disease? _

Jace.

_This is a call to arms; gather soldiers_  
_Time to go to war_  
_This is a battle song, brothers and sisters_  
_Time to go to war_

_My spine tingled, and the man in front of me just kept on grinning._

_Ever want to be free?_  
_Do you even remember?_  
_Want to be god and devil like me?_  
_Ever want to just stop?_  
_Do you want to surrender?_  
_Or fight for victory?_

Simon? What in the Angels name was Simon doing there? He was back in the city, on our side.

_Here we are at the start, I can feel the beating of our hearts  
Here we are at the start... _

Jace again, his voice sweet and loving. My eyes found him, hood down, with his arms wrapped around the shoulders of two young women. One was Ciara I realised, and the other, I couldn't quite place, because logic defeated the possibility that it could possibly be the only red- headed fiery tempered, stubborn beauty that I knew.

But then it was her voice, the voice whose song you could forget.

Scars' song was famous, and I could hear it reflected in the voice of her human form.

Clarissa Herondale was alive, and singing, and leading an army towards us.

_Darkness falls, here comes the rain to wash away the past and the names_  
_Darkness falls, here comes the rain to end it all, the blood and the game_

_Far, far away in a land that time can't change_  
_Long, long ago in a place of hearts and gold_  
_Far, far away in a land that time can't change_  
_Long, long ago in a place of hearts and gold_

Oh how I'd missed her voice- even if it was when she wouldn't stop singing whilst she was pregnant. It was her happy song she'd said, and you just knew she was in a bad mood if she wasn't singing, and you avoided her like the plague.

It disappeared into the rest, and I watched as they drew their song to a close.

_This is a call to arms, gather soldiers  
Time to go to war (Far, far away...)  
This is a battle song, brothers and sisters  
Time to go to war (Long, long ago...)  
This is a call to arms, gather soldiers  
Time to go to war (Far, far away...)  
This is a battle song, brothers and sisters  
Time to go to war  
_

Clary and Jace swung up onto two horses and began to race towards us, a familiar streak of grey following them. Good old Christi.

_This is a call to arms, way of the night  
This is a battle song, way of the night_

The horses stopped, Clary's in the middle, Jace's on her left, and the man's on her right.

"Long time no see Isabelle. I hear you need a little help against my brother." Clary swung down from her horse, and, strangely, Jace swung down to opposite side to the way he usually did so that he was hovering by her shoulder. This was more than his usual over protective crap, I could tell.

Then I saw her eyes, that spooky murky green that covered the brilliant emerald that I remembered so perfectly. I heard Nicki suck in a shocked breath, and Clary turned her head in his direction, but she wasn't looking at him, not really, because she couldn't. The strange sense of perception she'd always had seemed amplified, as if she relied on it completely. And then I realised she did, and that was why Jace was hovering, to guide her.

His eyes met mine, and in that silent exchange was all the sorrys and I forgive yous that were needed to make up for the past seventeen years. Christi exchanged pleasantries with the wolves in my battalion, and I realised finally why Nicki had asked whether he was seeing ghosts. The man on the horse was none other than Mattie, or Toe, one of the wolves that Clary led so valiantly into battle. And the Terra's were all supposed to be dead.

Cassidy snarled next to me, and her sister turned her weird gaze towards her, and the two stared each other down, leader to leader, warrior to warrior, sister to sister. Then, as if by some miracle, Cassidy bowed her head in submission. I realised then that Cassidy knew there were still Terra's, and that she was acknowledging the fact that she would never be able to destroy them.

Because Cassidy had wanted to flush the forest because she knew the Terra's were there, and that they stood in her way. Because she wanted the glory her sister had earned.

Poor Cassidy.

We had a lot to explain when we returned to the city.

* * *

It was screaming, crying and hugging (and kissing, when Dad and Mum weren't looking) when we returned to the city. Grandma actually bawled when she saw her daughter, safe in the arms of her lover again, and she didn't stop for at least an hour- but they were happy tears.

Rick was too manly to cry, but that didn't stop him holding me tight and not letting go- when everyone had dispersed and we were alone, of course. In fact, in comparison, that night was better than all other nights we had spent together, despite the fact that very little about it was different. We did everything the same (and by everything, I mean _everything_) but it had more meaning.

And sadly, it presented a conundrum in the morning.

Telling my father that I was sleeping, and in love with, my best friend. Not that the best topic to start the morning off with.

So, I went to the one person I was positive that could help me first.

Aunt Isabelle.

She said she would come with me to support me against my father's undeniable over protective rages. I didn't want to involve my mother if I didn't have to- she had enough on her plate already without having to protect me as well.

The door of my Dad's room creaked open slowly, revealing the fact that yet again he had decided not to close the curtains. The covers were pulled down to his waist, and the sunlight rested its rays across his back, and also revealed my mother, curled up as tight as possible in the covers, so tight that I couldn't actually see her, I could just see the little mound under the duvet.

I may have forgotten to mention to Isabelle when she offered moral support that there was a high chance my father was naked. Oops.

He was sleeping quite soundly, snoring lightly against his pillow. I prodded him gently between the shoulder blades, and he twitched, a sure sign that I'd just woke him up. He was a relatively light sleeper, after all.

He spun over onto his back to face me, and luckily the covers remained decent. His eyes locked with mine for a second, before Isabelle said...

"Angel Jace, is it so difficult to find something to wear to bed?"

And that ruined any chance of me getting through a conversation with him without him being sarcastic.

"Isabelle, I can wear as little as I want in my own bed. And in case you haven't noticed, this is my room." He replied, grumbling.

"I still don't see why it is so difficult to find pyjamas. You always used to wear them." Dad rolled his eyes, exasperated. She so wasn't getting what he was trying to get across.

"Isabelle, I'm going to put this into terms that you'll understand." Turning his attention to me, he whispered "you might want to put your hands over your ears"

I did, but it didn't work.

"You know when you take a really close friend home? And then you go up to your room, and then you spend the night together?"

Isabelle just looked blank. Dada sighed.

"I'm not wearing anything because I got laid last night airhead." He said, and I felt physically sick. I mean, the thought of my parents sleeping together... just eww.

"Eww Jace! Too much information!"

"You asked. Turn around."

"Why?"

"Because as you noted, I'm naked under these sheets, and I'm about to put some clothes on so that we can talk properly." He groaned, and she immediately faced the other direction. I decided that perhaps then was a good time to go and shut the curtains. I so didn't want to see him naked.

As soon as my father had trousers on (no shirt, but that's just Dad, through and through) we left the bedroom to sit in my favourite room in the whole house- the music room, of course. Dad was surprisingly civil seeing as I woke him up (he's a real moody person usually).

"So what was so important you had to wake me up Ciara?" he asked, his eyes light. He was in a good mood. That was good.

I bit my lip. "Me and Rick... we're together. As in together, together." I finally got it out, to be rewarded with a glare that contained a lot of mixed emotions. I begged he wouldn't start like he usually did.

"As in sleeping together?" he asked, his voice betraying no emotion.

"Kinda?"

He walked out.

I just knew he was going to do that.

* * *

My baby girl wasn't...

Yes she was.

I couldn't handle it, and I knew too well that I had a bad habit of being slightly over the top. So I walked out.

I collapsed onto the bed, and arms folded around my chest, and a head rested itself on my shoulder, her hair tickling my ear. I broke away from her grasp and went over to the window, pulling open the curtains Ciara had shut only minutes earlier. I looked out over the streets of Alicante, watching people go silently about their daily business, not stopping to glance above them. The feeling of war was tangible in the air, but all I could think of was how I was losing my baby girl.

"You're not losing her. She's just not a baby anymore, she's a young woman. In fact, she's the same age I was when I lost my virginity. Just be glad that she loves the guy. I know I am." She pressed her lips into my shoulder, before coming around so that she was standing in front of me. She was wearing one of the soft green dresses she'd worn in the early days of our marriage, when it was just me and her. She looked beautiful in it, and she knew it, of course.

"I know I should be happy but you haven't had to watch her grow from the little baby I could hold easily in my arms to the seventeen year old girl she is now."

"She's closer to eighteen than seventeen Jace. And don't you think that I regret the fact that I missed so much of her life? But she isn't a baby anymore, and you're just going to have to accept that, because there is no way around it. Look to the future Jace? For me?" her hands reached up to cup my face. "I know I am. Because I will not leave this time. Not ever, not until the day I ascend to my place in heaven. And anyway, all this moping and anger about Ciara is just wrecking my buzz."

"What, your post sex buzz is being destroyed by my hatred for the fact that my little girl is growing up. I'll take it to another room." I said, and prepared to break away from her grasp.

"No silly. Not _that_ buzz. Though yeah, you're wrecking that one as well."

"What do you mean not _that_ buzz? You're not..."

"I am Jace." Her voice was complete honesty. Suddenly things just, got better. I smiled widly.

"YOU'RE PREGNANT!" I exclaimed, and she laughed, a wind chime laugh.

**There you go- 3,085 words. And a sorta good ending for once. Which is also a kinda cliffhanger, I suppose. Sorry.**

**So I think I deserve some reviews for spending a lot of time on this.**

**Lol**

**Bow Wow!**

**Vikki;)~**


	17. Fix You

**Disclaimer: OMG! I have just found out I do not own the Mortal Instruments! It's such a shock! Did you realise that? Joke! Of course You did!**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter Songs:  
**_**Fix You- Coldplay**_

Magnus wont age, but every year I get older, and at one point I will die. Its okay for Jace, what with his forever rune keeping him alive and young, but I have to suffer the pain of aging alongside someone who doesn't.

On a brighter note, Clary's still alive, and Jace is back safe, with her and Ciara. Though I don't think he and Ciara are on the best of terms from what Isabelle said earlier. I have yet to see the happy couple this morning, but knowing Jace the two are probably doing things I don't want to interrupt. Either that or they're training, which must be difficult seeing as Clary is almost completely blind.

Who am I kidding? They have the perfect life, and I'm stuck here, aging with a warlock who doesn't, getting weaker by the year, and eventually I will be too old for him, and he'll move on to someone else.

"Dad? What's the matter?" Cerin asked, coming up behind me. I remember the day Magnus brought her home, a screaming baby with curling hair. She'd certainly grown up into a fine young Shadowhunter, good enough to be accepted into Jace's academy.

"Nothing sweetheart. Don't worry." I replied, and she sat herself down next to me.

"You're worrying about Dad not aging, right?" always perceptive, that one.

"No Cerin, I'm fine."

"Sure..." she crossed her arms in her lap.

"Alec?" Clary's voice was strange to hear after so many years. I turned to face her, and her blind eyes bore into mine. "Can we talk, in private?" she gestured for me to follow her, so I kissed Cerin's head and chased her into another room.

"What's the matter Clary?" I asked, embracing her. She smiled as she hugged me.

"I've missed you. But anyway, I think you have something to ask me?" she said, pulling away, grinning.

"Who told you that?"

"Jace and my instincts. I may be blind, but I know you. You're worried because you age and Magnus doesn't." Another one that knows too much about people. But with Clary, it was just freaky. And I blamed Jace, of course.

"Jace has to learn to keep his mouth shut." Clary laughed, pulling her stele from her pocket.

"Do you want me to help you then?" she had spent way too much time around her husband, the way she was acting. Just like Jace would, taunting me. In fact, I was sure that she'd got that from him, because it was just too like the way he did it.

"What are you going to do?" I asked apprehensively.

"Mark you, silly."

* * *

My wife was pregnant. For the second time. My daughter was sleeping with her best friend, and Alec was going to live forever.

That definitely was a lot to process.

I sat at my piano and opened my sheet music, just as Clary came in and squished onto the bench next to me, her head on my shoulder. She and Ciara were alike in the way they both had to be as close to you as possible.

_When you try your best, but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want, but not what you need  
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse_

And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone, but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go  
But if you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Tears stream down on your face  
And I...

Tears stream down on your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
Tears stream down on your face  
And I...

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you

She pulled my head down and kissed me softly on the lips, and my hand rested gently on her stomach, where there was a hidden life beginning to grow, one that I would love and cherish for years to come, whether it be male or female (though I secretly wanted a boy)

* * *

I have my duties. I will carry them out. I will murder my sister and kill my mother in cold blood.

Its either that or die trying.

**Short chapter, but my inspiration has left me.**

**I'm very sorry to say I am thinking of discontinuing this story for that reason. Not because the stats are bad or anything like that, but because I have no inspiration.**

**Sorry. There may be a chance that some very pissed off reviews may make me go forward, but...**

**Bow Wow!**

**Vikki ;(**


	18. Firework

**Disclaimer: you sadly know as well as I do that the amazing Cassie Clare owns the Mortal Instruments, and I sadly don't. All lyrics belong to their respective artists.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter Songs**

**DJ got us fallin' in love- Usher feat Pitbull  
Firework-Katy Perry  
Angels on the Moon- Thriving Ivory  
Airplanes-B.o.B feat Hayley Williams  
Just the way you are-Bruno Mars**

After Jace had finished lamenting on the piano, we went into the kitchen, where Isabelle was stirring a pan of what looked like baby sick. A tall young man sat at the table, reading a book on archery and whittling the perfect arrow. An elegant bow lay across the table in front of him, with a depleted pile of finely fletched arrows.

He looked up when we entered, and I watched his gaze meet Jace's, with a light shadowing of fear behind his irises. Jace simply nodded graciously, and turned the ring Isabelle was cooking on off, so that she couldn't cook anymore baby sick, and pulled a box of cereal down from the cupboard above her head.

My senses told me that the boy at the table was Rick, Ciara's boyfriend, and that Jace was being suspiciously gracious. I guessed that my little rant at him had worked. He sat down next to Rick, chewing absently on dry flakes of his cereal, and looking over his shoulder at the book he was reading. After all, Rick was his student.

Isabelle was scowling and trying to relight the ring to cook her..._porridge? _... I stood next to her, forming the image of the gloopy stuff in my mind. It was so disgusting looking, even my mental image made me want to gag, let alone what it smelled like. She looked up at me, and I stooped focusing my senses on one thing and let them cover the whole room instead. Isabelle sighed and gave up, settling for cereal.

Rick and Jace were talking to each other in Romanian, so I left them to it, as they got into a heated debate about something I didn't understand. I hoped they weren't fighting about Ciara. Speaking of, I hadn't seen or felt her since she got in the fight with her father, so I grabbed my coat and shoes, and went out to find her on a hunch.

People tried not to stare as I negotiated the streets, but I didn't mind. In fact, I understood. A blind werewolf who was also a very famous Shadowhunter who was also meant to have committed suicide over sixteen years ago. I smiled and waved at them, and grinned when children pointed and chatted to their parents.

I started to climb a grassy hillock just within the wards, and carefully avoided the headstones and necropolises. Ciara was sat on top of the Herondale one, her feet absently kicking the battered stone. I clambered up and sat down next to her, waiting to see if she would talk to me.

She continued to kick the stone, but she also bit her lip, as if she was trying to bite back the words I could feel forming in her mind. So I sang to her, like I did when she was a baby. It was one of her favourite songs when she was little, one that Jace used to sing when I couldn't. Firework, by Katy Perry. I loved the video when I watched it, the way all the people who had so much crap in their lives found their niche, their place in the world, and realised they were amazing.

_Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,  
Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?  
Do you ever feel, feel so paper-thin  
Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?_

Ciara's lips began to turn up slightly, and her kicking slowed down. I could feel the thoughts that were building in her brain begin to sooth, so I kept on singing for her.

Do you ever feel already buried deep?  
Six feet under screams, but no one seems to hear a thing  
Do you know that there's still a chance for you?  
'Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light, and let it shine  
Just own the night like the Fourth of July

'Cause baby, you're a firework  
Come on, show 'em what you're worth  
Make 'em go "ah, ah, ah!"  
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework  
Come on, let your colours burst  
Make 'em go "ah, ah, ah!"  
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe

You don't have to feel like a waste of space  
You're original, cannot be replaced  
If you only knew what the future holds  
After a hurricane, comes a rainbow

Maybe the reason why all the doors are closed  
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road  
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow  
And when it's time you know

You just gotta ignite the light, and let it shine  
Just own the night like the Fourth of July

'Cause baby, you're a firework  
Come on, show 'em what you're worth  
Make 'em go "ah, ah, ah!"  
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework  
Come on, let your colours burst  
Make 'em go "ah, ah, ah!"  
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe

She began to really relax, and calm down, and then she joined in, singing along to the familiar song of her childhood, one of them, anyway. I could feel all the other songs she grew up with, a familiar lullaby that her father sang to her, adapted from one of my all time favourite movies.

_Boom, boom, boom  
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon  
It's always been inside of you, you, you  
And now it's time to let it through_  
_  
Boom, boom, boom  
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon  
Boom, boom, boom  
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon_

'Cause baby, you're a firework  
Come on, show 'em what you're worth  
Make 'em go "ah, ah, ah!"  
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework  
Come on, let your colours burst  
Make 'em go "ah, ah, ah!"  
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe

Anyone who was nearby probably thought we were crazy, belting out the song like we were, but we didn't care. Ciara grinned, and looked up towards the sun, speaking finally.

"How did you find me?" she asked, squinting as the sun got in her eyes.

"I guessed. When I was mad, or I wanted to get away from my parents, I would always seek high ground. I used to hide from my mom on my best friends roof." I replied, and she sighed.

"You're right. I did want to get away from dad. He was being ridiculous."

"That's just you're father. You've had longer to get used to him than me, so you should know what he's like."

"Why do you think I took Isabelle as moral support?" she said, turning to look at me. I laughed.

"I talked to him, Jace. He seems to have calmed down."

"Thanks, but I think I'll stay out here and think."

"Try and look at the problem from his point of view. You're his little girl, and he doesn't want to accept that you're growing up, because that means he's losing you. I told him he was being silly and that he had to let you grow up."

Ciara sighed. "I just wish that he'd let me be. He's always been on my back about putting my training before friends and family. Like no matter how much I train, I'm still never going to be good enough."

"Why do you think that is?"

"Because he is a perfectionist, and thinks nothing is ever good enough."

"No… when I met you're father, he believed that love was a sign of weakness- he devoted his life to training. But when it came to one of the biggest fight of his life, he would never have won if he hadn't have thought of everything he loved, and would die to protect. And then he came for me, and saved my life, at the cost of his own. It was a price he was willing to pay, and one that Raziel was willing to restore. And then when he found out the battle he won wasn't good enough, he threw himself into making it right. But all my training a preparation wasn't good enough when my brother came for you and your sister. We were outnumbered and outmatched. You're father pushed you to train because he didn't want to lose you the way he lost me and Alyssa."

Ciara nodded with understanding.

"He never told me that. He always told me that he was the best because he had believed he was the best. He never said it was because he was devoted to making our world right again." She looked away again, towards the city.

* * *

I took Rick to the firing range at Alicante's section of the Academy, to have a little target practice. I slipped a selection of Seraph blades and thin bladed knives out of the armoury and joined Rick, who was inspecting a shot at the end of the room. Sighing, he pulled the arrow out of the target and came over to me.

"So you're not mad that me and your daughter are an item." He clarified.

"My wife gave me a talking to. Just don't break her heart, okay? She is still my daughter, and I will kick your ass into the ground if you do."

Rick laughed, and strung another arrow onto his bow, releasing it casually. It hit the bulls-eye without him even lining it up. Damn, the kid was a good shot. I weighted one of the knives and let it fly- it flew true and thudded into the target dead on centre. But then again, so was I.

"You know, you were right, the lighter is less accurate. It gets caught on the wind I guess as it moves through the air. It doesn't have enough weight to carry it." He said, stringing yet another arrow on. "I want to see if I can do a Robin Hood- you know, one arrow splitting the one that's already in the target?" I nodded.

"I know. Good luck." The kid smiled and lined the arrow up by sight this time. Then he drew back the draw string and let it go. The arrow sliced through its predecessor- it had more speed than the last. I raised my eyebrow and Rick grinned. He walked up to the target and yanked them out, as I threw another knife towards mine, where it landed on the very outer edge of the target. I hadn't lost my touch.

**Okay, so you are probably wondering why I haven't updated in so long. It's called SCHOOL! Every teenager's worst enemy. So yeah, I've had a lot of revising to do. And it's Christmas hols, so I've been all over the place. And I've been ill, and out working to earn money for a new toy of mine. So I've been very busy, and still am.**

**So bear with me,**

**Bow Wow**

**Vikki ;)~**


	19. Broken so Long Ago

**Disclaimer: Melanie Foster, my alter ego, wishes to make this statement.**

"**Although my books maybe amazing, I am not Cassie Clare. Get over it."**

**This is why I don't let her out much. I do not believe what I write is amazing, so hats off to you guys who read this for putting up with my late night babble.**

**Enjoy!**

My name was Alyssa Jane Herondale. My Uncle kidnapped my mother when I was a baby. My Uncle then raised me to be the enemy the Clave could never win against. I grew up hating everything they stood for.

And now, I found out my sister is one of them, and that if I didn't manage to convince her to join our cause, I would have to kill her, without mercy; just like my Uncle would murder his sister once and for all, subsequently killing his brother in law because of the rune that binds them. It made my brain hurt when I first thought about it all. The thing is I had never really had emotions. I didn't feel when I killed- they were all just pawns in the greater fabric of the universe, easily expendable.

It was like this my calling, to purge this world of corruption and hate. And I knew how to do it.

While I was snooping round the institute, after my "father's" disappearance, I came across a book of Runes, Runes which I had never seen before. One was called unity, and according to the scrawled musing of a pregnant woman, it would bind the like together, into two bodies of the same cause. Perfect for executing my plan to bring down those who had ruined the world I grew up in.

I'd never actually given much thought to how I would die- I'd rather it have be in battle than in sickness, but I'd have hated to die for love. Love was an emotion that was the downfall of all great civilisations and powers. Look what happened to the Clave after all- they fell apart because one man was torn in half by loss of his wife.

Somewhere a wolf howled. It sent a shiver down my spine, like I'd burst out my skin. And then I realised, I was what I hated.

I had Downworlder blood, mixed with that of the Clave. I disgusted myself, and my Uncle. His Clave blood had long ago been purged to purity of the cause, but mine was still deeply imbedded in my veins. The wolf howled again, and once again I shivered, unable to control myself.

It's like every howl was piercing my mind- driving me insane. Like I was one of them, and they were calling me to join them in some repulsive act of Downworlder life. It made my gums throb, my bones hurt, my curl and my muscles spasm.

My head was pounding like a drum, and I wanted to be violently sick all over the forest floor beneath my feet. I suddenly heard voices out the howls, like my mind could actually translate what they were trying to tell the world.

The voices in my head were singing. They were singing a song that pierced my heart like a cruel and bloody knife plunging into me and spilling my life's blood out all over chaos.

_Other lives, always tempted to trade  
Will they hate me for all the choices I made  
Will they stop when they see me again?  
I can't stop now I know who I am_

Now I'm all yours, I'm not afraid  
and you're all mine, say what they may  
and all your love I take to the grave  
and all my life starts now

Tear me down they can't take you out of my thoughts  
Under every scar there's a battle I've lost  
Will they stop when they see us again?  
I can't stop now I know who I am

Now I'm all yours, I'm not afraid  
and you're all mine, say what they may  
and all your love I take to the grave  
and all my life starts

Now I'm all yours, I'm not afraid  
and you're all mine, say what they may  
and all your love I take to the grave  
and all my life starts, starts now

It was like a supernova- everything being thrown out of me and collapsing back in on itself, sealing seamlessly as if there had been no fracture at all.

My body surged forward instinctively, fast paced and running like it had never ran before. I covered distance like a marathon runner without the burn from my muscles, and soon I was with them, joining them, in all the ridiculousness.

I was a werewolf, and I didn't care. I knew who I was, and I was going to use it to my advantage.

* * *

**(I have decided to switch back to 3****rd**** person because that is the way the books were, so sorry for the perspective change)**

Cassidy was surprised when the wolf appeared. She was tall, strong with an air about her that told them that they should fear her, but she joined them like she had always been a part of them. That was sometimes what happened when a new wolf joined the pack, and Cassidy was willing to go with it.

They hunted in the forest and caused havoc in the city. Her sister made a guest appearance, moody because their partying had woke her up, and they didn't even have an excuse apparently because there was no full moon.

Alec Lightwood joined her in yelling at them, claiming to have been interrupted in his celebration of his new found immortality. His lover then joined him and said that they were more of a hindrance than they would ever be a help in the war against Jonathon, which made their new member very angry.

Clary looked on with wise blind eyes, her senses spotting the wolf that was always on edge- one that didn't quite belong. She made a mental note to get Christi on the tail- she was always good at digging up dirt on wolves Clary didn't trust.

* * *

The real reason why she was awake though was because her husband had rolled out of bed making a lot of racket and generally waking her up. The reason behind his outburst of madness- he heard suspicious sounds coming from their daughter's room downstairs.

If Clary had been allowed to sleep, she might not have needed to wake up for a few more hours, but once someone woke her up, she couldn't sleep. Jace was crouched outside Ciara's door with his ear pressed against the pale wood, and she wasn't in the mood to peel him away. So she clambered from their window up onto the roof, and sat talking to her unborn child.

She told the baby how she hated not being able to truly see her daughter or her husband, how she hated that everyone walked on eggshells around her, and how she felt that everything that ever made her who she was had been ripped from her.

She sat like that for hours, telling the baby how much its father infuriated her. She told it how in all the hours she'd been up here Jace hadn't even noticed she wasn't in the house where she was supposed to be, sleeping peacefully. The idiot had probably fallen asleep against Ciara's door, and she wasn't going to save him after he'd woke her up.

She told the baby how its Aunt Cassidy had everything so much easier than her- how she'd grown up with the shadow world being part of her everyday life, how she'd been allowed to start her own pack without fear.

She told the baby how she envied her sister everything.

She told the baby why she was up there. She told the baby how catastrophic losing her sight seemed, and why thinking that was so selfish.

She told the baby how her heart had shattered so very long ago.

**Wow. An update. From me.**

**Kay. So here's the deal. You tell me if you want it all to be in third person. You tell me about the story order (listed on prologue) and what you think of the ones I'm thinking of writing. You can even vote on the AtMUtS prequel, because I have a poll on our profile**

**Just drop me a line, give a dog a bone, because right now, I think I cant write, and that thought scares me, because it makes me feel really crappy about myself, which makes me kinda depressed.**

**Enough of my life story.**

**Bow Wow**

**Vikki ;)~**


	20. 21 Guns

**Disclaimer: I'm giving up on doing these. Just refer to previous chapters.**

**Enjoy! We're at over 4000 hits!**

Jace knew he was being ridiculous. He knew that Clary disapproved and that if Ciara found out she would kill him. So he gave up listening through her door the moment his wife walked past him and along the corridor to their bedroom.

Instead he went downstairs to get a glass of water. It seemed such an ordinary thing to do, but the circumstance in which the action was done was far from ordinary. They were truly on the brink of war- you could feel it in the very heartbeat of the city, in the way the Clave ordered meetings every evening and how they had told him that his students better be up to scratch, or else.

He drank his glass of water slowly, deliberating what his next move would be. Clary was bound to quietly yell at him if he returned to their bedroom, but if he didn't return she'd yell at him in the morning for not caring about her. He decided that being yelled about being over protective was better than being yelled about being an "uncaring bastard".

So he drained the rest of the glass, and headed back to his bedroom. The covers were screwed up, but there was no sign of Clary. He panicked, but realised that the curtains were billowing lightly. He remembered how Clary, like Ciara, always sought higher ground when she was mad. She was hiding on the roof, and he needed to make his peace with her to make her come down.

He hauled himself up easily, and found her on the opposite side to their room- looking out towards the forest in the distance, and the glass towers that held her new ward protections. He heard her voice, speaking softly, and wondered who she was talking to. Creeping closer, he realised she was talking to the baby.

She told the baby why she was up there. She told the baby how catastrophic losing her sight seemed, and why thinking that was so selfish.

She told the baby how her heart had shattered so very long ago.

He could sense her crying- he didn't need to see it. He knew she needed him; she needed him more than she ever had.

Clary felt Jace's arms circle her, his warm body pressed against her, his face buried in her hair. She'd been so caught up in what she was doing that she hadn't even felt his presence behind her, but now it was all around her, his thoughts whispering silent _I love you's _and _I'm sorry's._ She leant as far back into her husband as she could, resting her palm on his scarred arm. One of his hands travelled slowly to her stomach and rested there lightly.

She forgave him for being a complete and utter idiot. She forgave him for infuriating her at every turn. After all, he was Jace.

How he managed to carry her off the roof and into their bedroom was just Jace as well. As he pulled the covers tight around them, his warm comforting presence behind her, she realised that she could still sleep, as long as he was there.

* * *

Bright sunlight shattered through the carelessly open curtains. The face of the alarm clock had dark numbers glaring angrily. The bedclothes were a tangled mess of blue. Jace was leaning up against the wall, his golden hair spilling over his face as her concentrated on the papers in front of him. There were more spread across the floor in front of him, arranged without worry or care.

Clary blinked, hoping to dispel the dream. Jace was still there, sorting through his official looking papers, the curtains were still opened and the bedclothes were still tangled around her feet.

Jace's head snapped up as she let out a squeak.

"Morning. I didn't think you'd appreciate me waking you up again, so I let you sleep. Hope you didn't mind." He said, his tawny eyes twinkling.

"Am I dreaming Jace? Is this just some crazy dream that I'm about to wake up from, or are really there in front of me, telling me that this is just another morning when I wake up and you're running the academy like you always have done?"

Jace's brows furrowed. "What's the matter? Of course I'm here." He put his papers aside and came over to her, sliding onto the bed next to her. His arm slid around her shoulders, rubbing comforting circles.

She placed her hands over her eyes, and took them away again. She could still see perfectly. she could see every single detail in the room, from the worry on Jace's face to the threads in the linen in front of her.

"Jace?"

"Yes Sweetheart?"

"I see you."

* * *

Snuggled into Rick's bare chest, Ciara couldn't think of anything better than the piece of the early hours of the morning. The sunlight was straining against the curtains, and Rick's steady breathing soothed her into a light doze.

That was, until she heard the unmistakable thump of her father's impatient knocking on her door, stirring her and waking Rick up. And if she didn't deal with him quickly, woe betide Rick. So she hauled herself out of bed and pulled a dressing gown around herself, pulling the door open a crack. Her father was standing in the hallway with an impatient glint in his eyes that told Ciara something had crawled up his ass and died.

She sighed and joined him in the hallway, pulling the door closed behind her.

"What do you want dad?"

He grabbed her arm and dragged her down the stairs. She protested and struggled against him, but he didn't let go. He released her finally when they made it into the kitchen, and scowled. Whatever he was angry about, Ciara doubted she could lie her way out of it.

"You know, most people don't appreciate being dragged out of a nice warm bed to go for a meeting at the best of times, but of course, you would have the nerve, wouldn't you?" Christi/ Emma's voice rose from the hallway closely followed by a low male grumble that she had come to associate with Mattie.

The two entered the kitchen, took one look at Jace's face, and sat down at the table. Obviously they were also no strangers to his mood swings.

Clary could hear the yelling, but she was too busy pondering how on earth she could go to pretty much blind to perfect eyesight overnight. And what really worried her was the fact she kept getting the same answer.

The baby.

The baby, which was too small to be able to tell if it was a boy or a girl. Too small to hear anything. Too small to even really feel anything.

This didn't really explain how it managed to heal her eyesight.

Jace was ripping into Christi, Mattie and Ciara, about something they had apparently kept from him. At least, one of them had. He had been told, apparently, by a tip off that someone in New York City had met with Alyssa before she arrived at the Institute. Whoever it was, he had narrowed the suspects down to the three, and he wasn't letting up until he found out just exactly who it was.

Of course, she could have saved him the effort.

In the years since her disappearance, Mattie had devoted his life to finding the missing pieces- Clary and Alyssa. Therefore, if anyone had managed to find her, it was him. Of course, Simon hadn't known that when he tracked her down at the school- but she had a firm idea that the two had been sharing information, and that their collaborative efforts had been the real cause of the discovery of where Jonathon had been holding her.

Since Simon had found Alyssa, and communicated her safe removal to the institute, Mattie had turned his focus to finding her. He'd realised that by analysing where Jace was taken from, and where you could hide a Shadowhunter without anyone realising you were there. From that he had deduced that Jonathon had seized what his father had left behind in his wake- the Silent City of New York.

When he'd gathered enough willing soldiers to make a strategic attack on Jonathon, he'd broken in to rescue both me and Jace, still believing that the girls were going to stay safely with Isabelle and the others until the time came that they would make their move. Of course, that part had gone disastrously wrong, but he still managed to rescue them without losing too many brave soldiers in the process.

She hummed the tune of a song under her breath, her thoughts sad. She realised as she opened her move to let the words out, she was singing for her daughters, because she knew if she survived the coming days, it would be a miracle. She was singing it for her pack, her sister, her husband, her brother, and her friends. She was singing it for everyone who looked to her to lead them to battle and thought they would come out of it alive.

She wasn't a warrior. She was a werewolf who had learnt how to lead and to motivate. She was someone who knew strategy, but when it came to the fight, she was absolutely terrified. She was pregnant and going to war, and there was nothing they could do.

_Do you know what's worth fighting for,_  
_When it's not worth dying for?_  
_Does it take your breath away_  
_And you feel yourself suffocating?_  
_Does the pain weigh out the pride?_  
_And you look for a place to hide?_  
_Did someone break your heart inside?_  
_You're in ruins_

_One, 21 guns_  
_Lay down your arms_  
_Give up the fight_  
_One, 21 guns_  
_Throw up your arms into the sky,_  
_You and I_

_When you're at the end of the road_  
_And you lost all sense of control_  
_And your thoughts have taken their toll_  
_When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul_  
_Your faith walks on broken glass_  
_And the hangover doesn't pass_  
_Nothing's ever built to last_  
_You're in ruins._

_One, 21 guns_  
_Lay down your arms_  
_Give up the fight_  
_One, 21 guns_  
_Throw up your arms into the sky,_  
_You and I_

_Did you try to live on your own_  
_When you burned down the house and home?_  
_Did you stand too close to the fire?_  
_Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone_

_When it's time to live and let die_  
_And you can't get another try_  
_Something inside this heart has died_  
_You're in ruins._

_One, 21 guns_  
_Lay down your arms_  
_Give up the fight_  
_One, 21 guns_  
_Throw up your arms into the sky_

_One, 21 guns_  
_Lay down your arms_  
_Give up the fight_  
_One, 21 guns_  
_Throw up your arms into the sky,_  
_You and I_

She was terrified- but she knew that fear was what made her human, made her different from her brother. And she was so strong because everyone she loved, who left footprints on her heart, they gave her hope.

They would win this battle, for good this time.

**Dun dun dah!**

**Wow, two updates in two days! I must be having a slow weekend.**

**Review, life, rock, run for you life.**

**Bow Wow!**

**Vikki ;p**


	21. Big Boys

Isabelle regretted going out on the patrol with Josh when they came. They came like a wave, one influx after another, and there was just so many.

They were sentient creatures, easy to kill, if they hadn't been so grossly outnumbered. She leapt down from her horse and pulled her whip out, and the horse bolted to join the others, its eyes wild with fear. She slew the demons that came at her with a flick of her whip, battling through the thick of it to reach her son. He seemed to be holding his own, but other more experienced Shadowhunters were falling beside him.

They were outnumbered a hundred to one, and there was no one free to take the word back to Alicante. It looked like if they didn't win this stand, the city would be unprepared to take arms against them. It would be the second uprising all over again.

She saw Josh fall, and a feral, wild, protective scream left her lips, as the demon plunged its claws towards his prone body. She wasn't going to lose her son and her husband. She was too far away to make it to the demon, but suddenly the thing howled, collapsing in on itself, until only a lone arrow remained where it had once been.

Her thoughts immediately turned to Rick, but he was safely in the city sharing his skills with the bow to the perimeter garrison. She saw the archer when another arrow whistled towards the hoard advancing on her, the last one standing.

He- she assumed it was a he- was dressed in customary Shadowhunter black, with headgear that hid his face and made him completely unrecognisable. His bow was ornate, but well used, and his arrows were strapped to his back in an equally beautiful quiver. His head dipped, and Isabelle wondered if he was trying to tell her something.

He completed the action again, and she realised what he was trying to tell her. _Duck_.

She ducked, and the arrow glided over her head and struck something behind her with a dull thunk. She turned to face the demon, only to be clobbered over the head by another one she should have been watching.

* * *

She came to with a very wet cheek. At first she thought she was bleeding, but then a leathery tongue licked her again, and she realised she was getting either a werewolf bath or werewolf kisses- she wasn't sure which.

She peeled her eyes open, and stared straight into Clary's green ones. Her muzzle was stained with demon blood, but her tongue was hanging out and her ears were forward- she was happy. Isabelle sat up and saw her tail wagging, just before a rush of dizziness swept over her.

"Slowly, slowly. Head injuries are tricky buggers." Cerin said, coming over to join Clary. "You're lucky we got here when we did. You were pretty out of it, and about to be eaten by a demon." The girl said, pulling a strand of hair off her face. Isabelle wondered why Cerin was there, and then remembered that Cerin happened to be a second generation werewolf.

Clary made a low guttural sound in her throat, which Cerin politely translated.

"She says that you were just as lucky that..."the girl furrowed her brow, trying to make sense of what Clary had just said. "Ah... she says that you were lucky that the attack happened when and where it did. I think she's trying to say someone was in the right place at the right time to help you."

"There was an archer. A good one. Easily as good as Rick. He was in Shadowhunter black, with some kind of mask covering his face, like he didn't want anyone to recognise him."

Clary shook her head, and looked to Cerin.

"She says that they weren't trying to hide, at least, not from their friends. They were hiding from the demons who wanted to kill their family."

"You sure know a lot." Isabelle said suspiciously. Clary gave her a wolf shrug and padded away, leaping up onto a ridge that had been behind Isabelle when the fight began. She sat back on her haunches and howled, loud enough for Isabelle to want to clutch her ears.

Christi grumbled from her position in the trees, and Mattie whined.

Cerin grinned.

"She has a present for you- she didn't even know herself until we got here."

* * *

_Clary knew that the lonely patrol was going to get into trouble the minute she heard about it. She summoned, from Jace's lecture, which pleased them, Mattie and Christi, and managed to convince her sister to round up her pack to join them. Cerin appeared begging for a place in the newly forming Terra's and Clary hadn't the heart o turn the girl down._

_The wolves set out towards the patrol. They were a few hours behind, but wolves run fast. They made the ground quickly, but were still a way away when they heard Isabelle's scream. Clary increased her pace, and the others to match, and they surged over the land, and negotiating the ledge in front of her with one powerful thrust from her legs, Clary flew into the battle, grabbing a demon in between her teeth before her paws even touched the ground._

_One came close to grappling her, but an arrow buried itself into its hide. Clary looked up towards where the shooter was standing, decided they were on her side and dashed for them, seeing the demon about to rise up and strike them down. She leapt straight over their head, biting the disgusting thing in half with one fatal bite._

_She continued fighting, but now the archer was out of arrows, he had moved to crouch over a prone Isabelle, whilst Cerin was trying to drag an unconscious Josh away from being trampled by the tussle around him._

_Soon the sheer force of powerful, determined wolves overcame the horde, and what they didn't kill scurried back to where they came from with their metaphoric tails between their legs._

_Clary turned back to the man- he'd taken his mask off now- tending to Isabelle. She padded over, her feet light and springy. It was so good to be able to see again, and her extra senses were just a bonus._

_He lifted his head towards her._

"_**I was never here**__" he mouthed._

"_**She needs you. Stay.**__" Clary said, morphing back._

"_**I'm supposed to be dead.**__"_

"_**So was I. You and I both know that running is never going to make avoiding the questions our loved ones ask any easier. One scar can make everything spiral out of control. I know that. What he did to you hasn't changed her love for you. It's just made you stronger. Your family needs you, oh fearless warrior. Just like they need me and the girls. We need you to win. You are the missing piece in huge jigsaw."**_

"_**I'm still not meant to be here."**_

"_**Am I freaking out? I assure you that they won't hate you either. They just want you back."**_

_**

* * *

**_

Isabelle screamed again when she saw who clambered up the ridge to join them.

He was older, and he had more scars, but it was undeniably Lucas.

She threw herself at him, clutching him as tight as possible, not letting go, just in case he wasn't real. But he didn't disappear, he stayed right there. Her Lucas put his arms around her and held her close, the hard lines of his familiar body pressing into hers. Clary grunted in a manner Isabelle knew meant _I told you so_ and left, leaving them alone on the ridge, just holding each other.

* * *

Jace was lying face down on top of the covers when Clary got home, with a large white bandage wrapped around the small of his back. Ciara had been sitting quietly downstairs with a sheepish look on her face, so Clary didn't have to guess how it got there.

She slid onto the bed next to him and rubbed his back softy. He groaned and sat up.

"She hit me full force with a training stick." He explained, and Clary tried to keep herself from laughing.

"Come on then big boy. How about I make you feel better?"

Jace grinned wickedly, and ignored the pain in his back as he pressed his lips firmly against his wife's, wrapping his arms around her and lowering her down onto the bed.

* * *

Ciara didn't even want to know what her parents were doing. Instead, she went to hunt out her boyfriend.

**Cute right? Lucas is back! Yay!**

**R&R my peepz**

**Bow Wow**


	22. Utopia The Drums of War

Chapter songs- # for the ones I used lyrics from.

**Your Song- Ellie Goulding/ Elton John (**_**depending on which version you prefer)**_** # (lyrics from Ellie Goulding version)  
Angels on the Moon –Thriving Ivory#  
Utopia- Within Temptation feat Chris Jones  
My Immortal- Evanescence # sort of**

**Okay, I'm planning to make this epic. Epic and full of song lyrics, which you can choose to ignore if you want.**

Sometimes you feel that everything is flying by you at a million miles an hour; that the end is flying towards you like a 125 bullet train. You feel that everything you care about, you love, you feel for, is about to be ripped from you.

Ciara sat at the piano at their Alicante home, running her fingers idly over the keys. She remembered when her father taught her to play when she was little, and the songs he used to play her when she wanted to cry away the pain. He'd taught her to play them when she asked, and now, as they waited to go to war, she sat at the piano and feebly tapped the notes of C major out. Then she lightly splayed her fingers out across the white and black keys and began to play the songs from her memory.

_It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside  
I'm not one of those who can easily hide  
I don't have much money but boy if I did  
I'd buy a big house where we both could live_

_So excuse me forgetting but these things I do_  
_You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue_  
_Anyway the thing is what I really mean_  
_Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen_

_And you can tell everybody this is your song_  
_It may be quite simple but now that it's done_  
_I hope you don't mind_  
_I hope you don't mind that I put down in words_  
_How wonderful life is now you're in the world_

_If I was a sculptor, but then again, no_  
_Or a girl who makes potions in a travelling show_  
_I know it's not much but it's the best I can do_  
_My gift is my song and this one's for you_

_And you can tell everybody this is your song_  
_It may be quite simple but now that it's done_  
_I hope you don't mind_  
_I hope you don't mind that I put down in words_  
_How wonderful life is now you're in the world_

She'd learnt the lyrics from the real song, and realised that it was a song she could apply to the few memories of her mother. When her father first started telling her about her mummy when she was four, she began to feel as if her mother was with them every day, in every move they made. She truly lived on in them, in the memories they shared and the days they devoted to father daughter time. The fishing, the horse riding, the piano lessons when no one was around.

She realised the true meaning of that lullaby.

_She lives in you, she lives in me  
she watches over, everything we see  
into the water, into the truth  
in your reflection, she lives in you_

She hummed the words quietly, a tear forming in the corner of her eye. She wiped at it furiously, angry at herself for being so helpless to her emotions. A hand found her shoulder, and she looked up at her mother, her green eyes full of worry, and then understanding.

"It's okay to be scared. It's okay to be worried. It's okay to want turn away and run. It's our nature; we're only human after all. We just have a little bit of magic to keep us going in the face of danger. I'm scared. You're fathers scared, Nicki's scared, Amber, Isabelle. We're all scared." She put her arms around Ciara, just wanting to hold her. Her baby girl.

"Mum?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"How did you get your sight back?" Ciara had never heard the story behind the news- no one really had, Clary supposed. Now seemed like the best time to tell her, if there ever was going to be a good time.

"I'm pretty sure it's a boy, but your dad..."

"You're pregnant again?" Ciara threw her arms around her mother- it was the first piece of true good news she'd heard since she was reunited with her parents. "The baby healed you?"

"Apparently. I guess he's gonna be special, like his sister." Ciara grinned, and wiped her red eyes.

"Thanks mum. I needed that." She said.

"Play me something. I want to hear you play, just once before we go out there on that battle field and fight for our lives."

"Let me get my guitar. I have the perfect song." Ciara grabbed her favourite guitar from its case and sat back down on the piano stool, grinning, her mother on the floor in front of her.

She strummed out the first few notes, tweaking the tuning, and began to play

_Do you dream that the world will know your name,  
so tell me your name (tell me your name)  
And do you care, about all the little things,  
Or anything at all (or anything at all), _

Clary knew the song- in fact; it was her favourite some days, days like these.

She added her own rich harmony, and Ciara grinned, her smile electric. Clary was impressed she was playing the song- it would require her to be able to go quickly from the piano to the guitar and vice versa.

_I wanna feel all the chemicals inside,  
I wanna feel (I wanna feel),  
I wanna sunburn just to know that I'm alive,  
To know I'm alive (to know if I'm alive),_

_Don't tell me if I'm dying,_  
_Cause I don't wanna know,_  
_If I can't see the sun,_  
_Maybe I should go,_  
_Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming,_  
_Of angels on the moon,_  
_Where everyone you know,_  
_Never leaves too soon_

_Do you believe in the day that you were born,_  
_Tell me do you believe, (do you believe)_  
_And do you know that every day's the first of the rest of your life,_

_Don't tell me if I'm dying,_  
_Cause I don't wanna know,_  
_If I can't see the sun,_  
_Maybe I should go,_  
_Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming,_  
_Of angels on the moon,_  
_Where everyone you know,_  
_Never leaves too soon,_

_This is to one last day in the shadows,_  
_And to know a brothers love,_  
_This is to New York City angels,_  
_And the rivers of our blood,_  
_This is to all of us,_  
_To all of us,_

_So don't tell me if I'm dying,_  
_Cause I don't wanna know,_  
_If I can't see the sun,_  
_Maybe I should go,_  
_Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming,_  
_Of angels on the moon,_  
_Where everyone you know,_  
_Never leaves too soon,_

_Yeah you can tell me,_  
_All your thoughts about the stars,_  
_That fill polluted skies,_  
_And show me where you run to,_  
_When no one's left to take your side_  
_But don't tell me where the road ends,_  
_Cause I just don't wanna know,_  
_No, I don't wanna know,_

_Don't tell me if I'm dying,_  
_Don't tell me if I'm dying._

Jace walked in to find the two, singing together, and lounged against the wall, watching mother and daughter silently. Ciara's eyes met his, and she grinned even more, and when the song finished, she threw down her guitar and scrambled towards him, throwing herself into his arms, and he held her there, remembering when she was so small he could pick her up and put her on his shoulders. Thanks to one of Clary's best healing runes to date, his back was fully healed, and he'd forgiven Ciara for first smacking him with the training stick so hard the damn thing broke, but for then going for him with the spiky damaged end.

Clary slid up off the floor, and he gestured her over so that he could hold both his girls, despite the loss of Alyssa, in his arms. To the casual observer looking in, they would look like they had never been apart- another family that were preparing for the war by having a moment to say they love each other, to say goodbye. Ciara was too young according to Clave law to go to war, but the academy had changed that. The students were allowed to go to war earlier, but no one else knew that except the academy patrons themselves.

* * *

Across the city, Amber Herondale sat on the Accords Hall steps contemplating time. Time was a fickle thing- it seemed to stretch on forever just when you wanted it to end. Next to her, Cassidy was staring about into space silently. The girl had suddenly grown up in a matter of weeks, from the bitchy young adult who felt like she was constantly being compared to her half sister to a strong and independent woman who was equally brilliant in her own right.

Cassidy was in mundane terms, a general. She was to lead part of the army into war- a great honour only awarded to the greatest of Shadowhunters- and she was the first werewolf to hold that rank. Apart from Clary, but her job was different. Where Cassidy was a physical leader, Clary was an example to everyone. She had showed to the world that perseverance and determination was key to survival through inspiring the remainder of her pack to save her. She had taught the Clave the value of teamwork, by binding together the strongest and most volatile to infighting werewolf pack into an elite army of devoted warriors.

And in his own way, Jace was a hero. He never gave up on his wife, without the knowledge that Mattie and Christi had. When she thought about it, Amber supposed that all the people in the City of Glass were heroes.

* * *

Emma. Christi. Claws. All those names were hers, yet every single one of them seemed to own their own identity. Ryan had brightened up her life for a few sweet months, and then he had been brutally murdered before her eyes. She was sick of watching people find their long lost loves again, and never being able to hold hers in her arms.

Emma loved, cared and protected.

Christi fought, rebelled, and was the bestest friend you could ever wish for.

Claws was a warrior who didn't let the messy emotions get in her way. She was utterly devoted to protecting those she cared about.

But now, looking out over the City of Glass, watching people prepare to say goodbye to their loved ones, to go to war where they knew there was every possibility that they weren't going to survive, she realised that all of those qualities were what made her so strong, each of her names was not a separate person. She was Emma, Christi, Claws all the time.

She held her head high as she walked through the streets, knowing that she was strong. She was a warrior. She was a Terra.

* * *

Isabelle sat on the sofa with Lucas, just holding on to him, breathing in his smell, of sweet humanity. Josh was sitting on the floor, his head buried in a textbook, trying to figure out what was wrong with one of his Seraph Blades. Isabelle and Lucas had both offered to help him, but he had refused. He wanted to be able to do it himself, without help.

So they just watched him, their son, fix one minute thing, like he could fix all the evil in the world.

* * *

After having that moment with her mother and father- who had since disappeared off to their room with sad eyes- Ciara sat back down at the piano with her guitar, and randomly selected a piece of music from the pile. The song had both a male and female part, and she resolved to only sing the female part. (**bold is Rick, **_italics is Ciara,__** bold italics is both!)**_

_The burning desire to live and roam free  
It shines in the dark  
And it grows within me  
You're holding my hand but you don't understand  
So where I am going, you won't be in the end  
_

Someone came in behind her- she heard the door open this time. And then, just when she thought she was being foolish and that there was no one there, Rick's rich (but slightly off tune) voice joined hers in one of the Academy's favourite late night songs.

**I'm dreaming in colours  
Of getting the chance  
I'm dreaming of China; the perfect romance  
In search of the door to open your mind  
In search of the cure of mankind  
**

He moved so that he was at the end of the piano, staring directly at her. She loved the way one side of his mouth didn't curl up properly when he smiled, the way the scar on his brow remained pale whenever he tanned, the way his hair shone in the light. Rick was hers, and she was eternally grateful.

_**Help us we're drowning  
So closed up inside**_

**_Why does it rain, rain, rain down on Utopia?_**  
**_Why does it have to kill the ideal of who we are?_**  
**_Why does it rain, rain, rain down on Utopia?_**  
**_And when the lights die down, telling us who we are?_**

_I'm searching for answers  
not given for free_  
_**they're hidden inside, is there life within me?**_  
_You're holding my hand but you don't understand_  
_**So I'm taking the road all alone in the end**_

_**I'm dreaming in colours, no boundaries are there  
I'm dreaming the dream, we all seem to share  
In search of the door, to open your mind  
In search of the cure of mankind  
**_  
_**Help us we're drowning  
So closed up inside  
Why does it rain, rain, rain down on Utopia  
Why does it have to kill the ideal of who we are?  
Why does it rain, rain, rain, down on Utopia?  
And when the lights die down, telling us who we are  
**_  
_**why does it rain, rain, rain down on Utopia  
why does it have to kill the ideal of who we are?  
Why does it rain, rain, rain down on Utopia  
And when the lights die down, telling us who we are  
Why does it rain? **_

She put her guitar down and silently followed him up the hall. She just wanted to be with him on the last night of her life, to go to bed and wake up with him beside her.

* * *

This need was something that Clary and Jace had already experienced, the night before the second uprising, but tonight they couldn't sleep. Clary watched the hours drift by on the clock, knowing that the man she was pressed against couldn't possibly be asleep either, just from his breathing. She gave up on the clock, turning to face him, and burrowed her head in his chest, her tears hot against his skin. He just held her, the strong man, reduced to near tears at the thought that tonight was the last night in the life of everyone he loved.

It was true hell on earth- worse than seeing the state Jonathon had put his wife in, worse than when he realised she wasn't coming back, worse than the night he lost Alyssa.

* * *

_**The next evening**_

Alyssa herself was sitting on the other side of a portal in an abandoned manor house miles away, with a piano in front of her also, but she couldn't play it. She knew the words but not the song, and she murmured them under her breath, waiting for the command to go to battle. She didn't remember all the words, but she knew snippets, sections.

_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears_

She was only a child really after all, a child deprived of her childhood.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

She looked at the angry scars on her hands. She once saw them as lessons, but now she saw them as reasons for pain. She had no runes etched in her skin, but the scars were as real as they were.

_You used to captivate me  
By your resonating life  
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me_

It was true- now she was haunted by every bad thing in her life so far, and she no longer thought that they had made her stronger. If anything, they had made her weaker.

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me_

That was true also. Jonathon still had every inch of her, and he knew it and abused it. She saw something on the floor in the corner then- a little black book that looked incredibly familiar. It was the book of runes she'd found in New York.

She picked it up and flicked through its pages, absorbing them all, every last one.

And then she snuck into her Uncles bedroom and stole his Stele.

* * *

Far away in Alicante, the drums and horns of war began to sound. Night had come.

**Review if you Liked it, Review if you hated it, I don't really care**

**Btw, dunno if loads of people know this (which they probably do) but in the UK we spell color colour with a u**

**Vikki ;)~**

**luv to all reviewers and Serenity Shadowstar!**


	23. Peace

**I know I'm in a heck of a lot of trouble with you guys because a) I said id update and I didn't and b) the previous update was rubbish. So I deleted it. This means I now have to re write that chapter, but it's not going flash so far ahead. This chapter is going to start off straight after **_**utopia, the drums of war**_**. All the walking and hiking stuff is because I've just completed my Bronze Duke of Edinburgh expedition (if you don't know what it is, don't worry).**

**Also, I've just finished my English Language exams, so hopefully the lovely Ms Robst has managed to make my writing better this year. Also, I'm going to change the way it reads a little, so that there is a lot more... stuffing I suppose, so that you can get a better picture of what's going on.**

**Thanks for sticking with me, and I'm now on summer break so I'm planning to update all of my uncompleted stories (OMG) so check them out if you haven't already done so!]**

**Disclaimer. I own my own characters, but not the amazing ones cassie clare has made. Cookies if you know the songs I used lyrics from…**

_Chapter 22, Peace_

Every muscle in Alyssa's back and legs ached with every single step she took. She was pushing her body to the very limits of its capabilities, but she had to make it to the mountains before anyone realised she'd gone. It was the only way that she would ever be able to escape him.

The forest she was hurrying through was densely packed with trees and ferns that were nearly as tall as she was. They were a lush pale green and smelt of dew and..._Life._ There was no trail, but that suited Alyssa fine. After all, she had her compass to tell her if she was going the right direction or not. The only issue this presented her with was that on a well travelled trail, it is difficult to track somebody because you can't tell if they followed this fork or turned off onto this footpath or not. However, when she was walking cross country, her route was obvious- trampled plants marked the direction she had taken like the lamps along the floor of a plane that show the way to the exit in an emergency.

That's why she had to hurry. She had to make it to the rocky, barren, alpine slopes of the mountains, where it would be all too easy to lose a tail by simply ducking behind this rock or clambering up this precipice. The forest was too constricting- it felt as if it was penning her in. She pulled out the faded map of the area she filched from the library, and once again checked her compass bearing. It was still dead on.

The straps of her back pack pulled on her shoulders, and the hip belt was causing her shirt to ride up until the scratchy material of her bag could rub against her bare skin. It hurt, but she pushed on, knowing that a couple of abrasions were nothing compared to what her Uncle would do to her if he caught her. She pulled at the hem of her shirt again, trying to drag it down, but it just rode itself back up again, so she sighed and gave up on trying fixing it.

The vegetation was beginning to thin out, giving way to more rocks underfoot as she continued her steady ascent. Her breathing was slightly quicker than normal, and even as the temperature dropped as she gained height, her back and neck were beginning to become clammy with sweat.

She took a short pull from her water hose, knowing it was better to drink very little and often than guzzle all her water down before she made it to the spring rich mountains. Everything she did was about survival, including her meagre choice of weaponry.

All she had on her was a sharp short bladed dagger with a jewel encrusted hilt, and the initials _C.H._ carved into the handle. Underneath, in one of her fits of boredom, Alyssa had added her own initials, in the same sloping font as the originals. It had taken her until she was hiking through some god forsaken forest in the middle of no where to realise that her Uncle had stolen the dagger from her mother when he captured her. She also had a whip curled around the hip belt, fixed tight against her body. Her expertise never had truly lain in whips, but years of practise had taught her to be just as good with a whip as she was with a sword or dagger.

She reached back to check that the dagger was still where she had strapped it, comforted by its familiar cold, metallic feel. She could almost imagine its weight, the way it felt when she hurled it through the air or plunged it into a body, and the feeling of absolute power that came with it. Killing was the only time Alyssa had truly felt in control of her life, apart from now. Now she was in complete control, and the prospect scared her slightly. Even though her Uncle could easily still catch up with her, she was on her own, and whatever she did now could be the difference between her surviving and dying, and there was no one there to make that decision for her.

Alyssa hadn't felt true fear in years.

But it was fear that was keeping her going now.

She pushed her way through the foliage, and could have cried if she were a weaker girl when to her amazement she saw pure, untainted light. It wasn't green from the thickness of the forest's trees; it was pure white from the open air it was radiating through, almost as if it was searching for her to welcome her to her chance to finally escape for good. She surged towards it, and basked in its glory, her first real stop for hours. But she knew that she couldn't stay still and enjoy her first sip at freedom. She had to keep pushing onward until she reached Alicante.

* * *

"They need someone they can look up to Ciara. Someone who can lead them in battle. You were the only person I could think of that could ever do it right now." Jace's eyes pleaded with his surly daughter, who was stretched out on the sofa of their home, nursing her wounds from the night before.

"Why can't you do it? You were their leader before, and they already worship you and Mum like heroes. Why me?" she asked, redressing a deep scratch on her shin, applying another rather sloppy healing rune.

"Me and your mother are the heroes of the last generation. It's your time to shine. When we were your age, we managed to scare Jonathon off for long enough for this country to have a few years of peace. Now it's your turn to finish what we started. Also, I have to stay with your mother at the hospital, so I can't be the leader the army need to take them past these wards and into the carnage."

Ciara bit her lip, looking up at her father, knowing that at midnight tonight he was going to be on the front line, protecting her mother as she used her superior abilities with runes to help heal the wounded and dying. And her father would be there to make sure that she could keep on doing that, no matter what the cost. She sprung to her feet and wrapped her arms tight around him, and he awkwardly returned the embrace, like he always did when he was thinking too much.

A door slammed behind them, and Ciara looked over Jace's shoulder to see her mother, standing in the doorway, her green eyes sad and tired. She'd been up since dawn yesterday, and spent most of the night tending to the wounded, and her pregnancy was beginning to affect her. She was plagued with nausea and she had dark circles under her eyes almost constantly for the past few days.

She smiled weakly, and stepped forward to wrap her arms around Jace's waist, placing her head between his shoulder blades. Ciara let her father go, and stepped away, before leaving the room, planning to find Rick. She knew what she needed to do to raise moral amongst the people.

Jace spun in Clary's embrace so that he could gently kiss her forehead, holding her as tight to him as he could, his eyes closed as he tried to escape the world that surrounded them. Between them, their third child was growing steadily in Clary's womb, the child that although she/he (Jace was still convinced they were having another girl, but Clary insisted it was a boy) had healed their mother's sight, was causing her so much irritation.

Clary tilted her head up so that she could place her lips on top of his, kissing him sweetly at first, but soon his hand had slid up to cup the back of her head, melding her lips to his, deepening the kiss. Their tongues touched, awakening the youth that they had kept over the years. In any other couple it would be almost strange to see such passion between two people who knew each other so well in public, but they weren't any other couple.

Clary reached to grasp Jace's free hand, pulling away from him, placing her finger over her lips and gently leading him up the stairs. His lips sought hers as they collapsed onto the bed, the door firmly kicked shut behind them. Now was not the time to cry about what they could lose in a matter of hours, now was the time to celebrate what was theirs, and what could always survive death. After all, they never swore to love each other till death do us part.

Elsewhere, Ciara was cuddled into Rick's firm warm body, listening to the song again and again, letting the lyrics and the pitch of the notes wash over her body and be absorbed into her every pore. Rick's fingers were drumming out the beat absentmindedly, like his fingers weren't attached to his brain and were simply acting of their own accord.

Eventually, her father appeared in the door way, his hair slightly ruffled but dressed immaculately as always, and all four of them made their way to the Angel square.

A temporary stage had been erected, and there was a soft golden glow from the light of the fiery torches that surrounded it. Everyone, including the children had a dull witch light clutched in their grasp, and as Jace ascended the steps of the stage to join the inquisitor, a hush came across the whole party. The inquisitor nodded, and Jace turned to the crowd, who were waiting patiently, their expectation tangible in the air.

"Last night was one of the bloodiest fights in our history. But we will not let that sway us from doing what we were born to do. We will scour this country until we have cast out every shadow that could possibly exist in our mist. We will turn everlasting night into the brilliance of day.

"But you and I both know that to do that, we need a leader. Twenty years ago, that role may have fallen on my wife and I, the role of being your heroes, but not now. My duty now is to those who fall in the line of battle, to protect the people who can ultimately save their life. So I cannot lead you into battle, nor can my wife as she strives to use her abilities in our hospitals.

"So you need someone else to lead you forth into battle, and I cant think of anyone better to than the true mastermind behind the academy, my brilliant, albeit a little crazy, daughter Ciara. Behind her I know she has our best and brightest of the new generation, the elite that were chosen for our academy to protect and serve us, no matter whether they are past or present students. Ciara!"

Everyone cheered as Ciara drew a deep breath into her lungs and stepped onto the platform, looking out across the people her father had tasked her with leading.

She nodded towards Rick, who in turn nodded to the band behind him.

_And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you  
Somebody else gets what you wanted again  
You know it's all the same, another time and place  
Repeating history and you're getting sick of it  
_

People stared, like they couldn't believe that in this time of hurt there could be such thing as music, music that was pure and overpowering in its strength. Ciara had specifically chosen this song because it reminded her of what they wanted to achieve, and how she was feeling fright now in its beginning.

_But I believe in whatever you do  
And I'll do anything to see it through_

_Because these things will change, can you feel it now?_  
_These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down_  
_It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win_

People began to realise that it was okay to let the beat affect them, that it wasn't taboo to move and tap a leg or stomp a foot, that it was okay to enjoy and get involved in something that wasn't fighting or rational thought.

_We'll sing hallelujah!_  
_We'll sing hallelujah! Oh_

_So we've been outnumbered, raided and now cornered_  
_It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair_  
_We're getting stronger now from things they never found_  
_They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared_

She could see her mother and father at the edge of the crowd, her fathers hands resting on her mothers abdomen, and they were smiling, properly smiling, and on the verge of _dancing_. Ciara's plan was working, she was getting people to realise what it meant to be human through music, to remember what life was like before all this pain and suffering.

_You can walk away and say we don't need this  
But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this_

_'Cause these things will change, can you feel it now?_  
_These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down_  
_It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win_

_We'll sing hallelujah!_  
_We'll sing hallelujah! Oh_

_Tonight we stand on our knees_  
_To fight for what we worked for all these years_  
_And the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives_  
_Will we stand up champions tonight?_

_It was the night things changed, can you see it now?_  
_These walls that they put up to hold us back fell down_  
_It's a revolution, throw your hands up, 'cause we never gave in_

_We'll sing hallelujah!_  
_We sang hallelujah!_  
_Hallelujah!_

By the end everyone was singing, clapping stamping their feet or dancing. There were cries from her more contemporary crowd for an "ENCORE!" she blushed and smiled, knowing that she had just the song.

_I don't remember the moment I tried to forget  
I lost myself, is it better not said  
I'm closer to the edge_

_It was a thousand to one and a million to two_  
_Time to go down in flames and I'm taking you_  
_Closer to the edge_

* * *

Night had descended on the mountains. Alyssa was wrapped up in a thick jumper and her sleeping bag, her tent securely anchored to a patch of earth and grass that flourished in the alpine landscape of the mountainside. Her shelter was hidden by an outcrop of rocks, but she couldn't sleep. Every noise made her twitch, especially a low snuffling sound she could hear just outside her tent. It was something big, and although her instincts didn't scream demon, she was worried that it came from a member of her Uncles search party.

She gathered all the bravery she had and grabbed her dagger, slipping out of her tent to face the wilderness.

"Whose there? Show yourselves! I am not afraid of you!" she called into the night, and the snuffling stopped. In the distance, she saw a pair of eyes staring at her. She tightened her grasp on the dagger as the eyes began to move towards her. They shrank in size as they came towards her slightly, and soon she began to make out the shape of a man against the night.

"Hello Alyssa." Mattie's voice was cool and calm, and completely relaxed.

"Mattie! Thank God! I thought you were one of my Uncle's minions. She ran up to him, glad to see a familiar face. He grinned, his scarred face coming alive in the night. "How did you find me?" she asked, curious.

"I followed you silly. I've been following you on and off for years really. I have friends who always know where you are, and they told me you ran off."

"You have a friend in my Uncle's household?"

"You sound surprised that someone in your Uncle's household would go against him like that."

"I guess I just thought that they wouldn't be there if they didn't want to only serve him."

"I did, once. When your Uncle promised to rid me of this… curse. I never wanted to be a werewolf, let alone lead a pack, and he told me that he had a cure. I didn't know his cure was to try and wipe out my entire species. He threatened to kill everyone I love if I didn't cooperate, not that it stopped him. He killed them all and led me to believe he was protecting them." Behind Mattie, an aging man appeared. "I guess I better introduce myself. My name's John, but you can call me Neo."

"Woof. Woof woof. Woof woof woof."

"Hello to you too Claws. I'm guessing this whole parade is here to make sure we get to the city as fast as possible?"

Alyssa's werewolf kicked in again, and she began to understand what the other wolf was saying.

"I'm here to make sure she makes it to her pack safely. Cassidy is waiting for us in the foothills. She thought that a whole pack of wolves would look suspicious, and since we're a team, she sent me on ahead to make sure you lot don't get lost. Because no offence, but you guys have no sense of direction and poor Alyssa doesn't actually know where we are going."

**Wheew. Done. That feels great. I'm on the edge… (Listening to Lady Gaga on Viva)**

**Ciao and Bow Wow**

**Leave me a review or two if you wanna know anything, or pm me. If you have any ideas or constructive criticisms, you know what to do**

**Vikki ;)~**


	24. AN PLEASE READ

**I'm so sorry about this, but I just can't continue this story anymore. I know I've said this before but I really just can't. Over the last year the support for my writing both on and off the internet has taken a nose dive, so I think I may be taking a rather long Haitus from writing in general. I've lost all my inspiration and visiting the place that spurred the idea for my original novel hasn't helped me at all.**

**Who knows, maybe when I get the results of my GCSEs in English I might get the pick me up I need? But at the moment all I know is this.**

**1) My writing sucks at the moment. Real bad**

**2) My inspiration and desire to go on writing has run away so fast I didn't realise it had gone until I tried to write.**

**3) You guys are amazing. You've supported me in this endevour and I'm sorry I can't deliver the goods.**

**Bow Wow**

**Vikki**


End file.
